I was right wasn't I? You really won't ever see your mistake. No point repeating it. Have been telling you for more than half a year. Nothing I can do anymore if you don't accept anything. Calling you will just end up with you shutting the hell up when you're not suppose to, and me being disappointed. Again. Like all the other times. And stop using surface level excuses, you know it was more than what it was supposed to be. Now, I can see why its easy to stop loving someone. The more you retaliate, the easier it gets. Oh and, try to read properly and don't put words in my mouth. Tatas.

!Sandy

Love my Sandy. The only darling girl I can trust.

Seriously, only shes been as cute as pie and there for me even when ALL other girls be real bitches to me. For all my secondary school life.

She never lets me down. And if she could understand English, dang, would she know how much shit I've been through this few years.

I really can't count on anyone else you know. As in other than God.

Plus shes so damn cute and cuddly and all those kinds of stuff people buy dogs for.

I mean, who wouldn't love her??

Tribute to my lovely sexy dog. But, NO, she is not dead. I just really realised how everytime something real cocked up happens to me because of a girl, I somehow find some kind of comfort with her. Thanks Sandy!

Okay. Thats just weird. Anyways, this is not an emo post. Since I really can't take it. And I don't want to say anything I'd regret. Plus, this wound is probably one which time won't heal. Unless, of course, time could turn back. But duh... No way.

But anyways, Monday went to play soccer. It was okay, I guess. Was in Adriel's team against Chim's. Won. Should have scored one even though I was defender. But what the heck. It was kinda fun. I don't like field! Oh, and Old Chang Kee actually isn't that bad. Im such a lagger...

Tuesday was tuition day. So obviously didn't do anything after school. The Channel8 show is funny. Really. Oh before I forget, there was Emaths test. Should be getting full marks.

Today was a normal day which I've been missing for a hella long time. 2 tests. What a stupid joke. After school went with Javier, Joseph and Deon to Tampines KFC instead of playing ball. Was not in the mood to. But, the Banditto is back! Okay, yes, I am so lagged. But its been 2 freaking years since I ate a Banditto. And if you ever read my 2007 blog, you'll see how often I used to eat the Banditto per week. Which is really freaky. But its really nice. Never got sick before. Never going to get sick now. 'But... Its better!' And it really is! Its bigger now. And the roti's crispier this time. Aww yea.

Oh talking about roti, just remembered I sent a msg to Rotti for FOP. Yep. FOP is back again. Hope its even better than last year. Cuz last year's one was actually really great, even though the Friday one which Rotti(which was back then Bowling) went for and so giving a bad impression on them. Damn. But just go this time la guys, k? Steady! Really hope I go all 3 days again like last year. Friday hopefully with Rotti, Saturday with church, Sunday with... I don't know. Oh wells... We'll just see whether Im really meant to go all 3 days.

Hmmm. Not much to add. But theres the frigging Physics mock exam on Friday. Got to study! But its so difficult! Dang. Oh and I got to stop saying so much vulgarities and profanitites and other words to categorize all words that are inappropriate in a civilised society. I like just said KNNBCB jokingly today. WOW. Im going cuckoo! Oh wells... Really got to stop. I feel bad when those words fly out of my mouth. Feel damn freaking bad.

Check out 'WongFuProductions' on youtube. Shown to me by Joel. Their movies are not bad. Plus they're independent films. Go Indie! Oh plus, I've been watching some kind of Pokemon FireRed walkthrough for the gameboy. Don't know what so nice about it, but Im kinda addicted. WOW

From clothes to food, from a song to even tuition, I can't stop thinking about you. And its mixed. Part of me is missing you, the other part is just regretting I ever met you. But either way, its all still pain.

But one thing's for sure. Im upset I was so gullible to believe the lies you'd been saying to me. And Im disappointed you just can't see your mistake. But it dosen't matter, cuz I really doubt you ever will.

Oh and FYI, I don't have to chase a girl to show I care and love her. When a guy chases a girl, he's at his fakest. He won't be himself at all. I know. Cuz I've tried. And I hate it.

Also, this is exactly what I'd feared all along. You being fickle. Guess I was right. Guess everyone was right.

But, time can't rewind. And I too won't break my promise since I say what I mean. So I am still gonna love you. Or at least til my Os are over. I know I would, cuz I really can't help it. And it pisses me off. But what can I do? Dosen't matter if its one-sided, you've meant something to me. Plus, I don't lie.

.Im not suppose to let personal emotional stuff get into my posts, but I really can't take it

No Im not. Im not happy at all. I know how sensitive you are to that word, but please just look at yourself. I know its not like I didn't do anything wrong, but please please please hear me out.

Well, firstly, you just told the whole world how you have a thing for someone else. And there pretty much just tells me what I suspected was totally true. And yes, no doubt, me suspecting was really insecure. But, it was true! And come on! You were lying to me! And you're saying Im two-faced?? Pleeeeasee. Think. I've been saying that since Hokkaido. And... Yea, I know you're Sec1. But you think you're really gonna change just cuz you get through yet another birthday? I really doubt so.

And yea, I was wrong. I am fed up with you now. Im fed up how you don't realise it takes 2 hands to clap. Im fed up you say sorry, but I don't see any change. Okay, Im guilty for that too. But think back, dear. Whos been taking responsibility for every quarrel, every fight, every shit? And the winner goes to Yours Sincerely. Thank you very much. I know I've said a hella lot of un-erasable boocrap to you, but am I always at fault?

Also, everything I said in the invisible post was TRUE. I wasn't being sacarstic. Wasn't having any intentions to 'shoot' you. Wasn't expecting you would be so angry to know that I kept something so insignificant for so frigging long, to know I miss you so damn much, to know that even though its been so one-sided I still without any shitting doubt still love you. And Im so damned sorry I do. I was honestly, truly, totally wanting to show you how I still do care, but you just have to go ruin it. Okay, so maybe I wasn't all that clear. So, you want me to tell you now? I do care a hell lot. I've always been, ever since last december. NEVER stopped. No matter how much I really didn't want to anymore. I can't help it. I just love you. Im sorry.

Love always perseveres.

Okay, Im so expecting you to not believe me and take me as an asshole. But... I am absolutely and fully telling the truth. Can't do anything if you don't believe me. Even though I myself didn't believe you, even though that turned out... Oh wells. You hate me...

that hurt like fuck

(:

Thanks. Thanks a whole damned lot. I thought I was right. Really wished I wasn't. But, now I know.

didn't know you were so pucken' pissed though

i really don't want you to say this again, but, damn, you really are a bitch!

Its funny, weirdly, I laughed when I read it. Don't know why. Maybe cuz it seemed like miscomms could happen even if we aren't talking. Its weird. Or maybe we still can't really truly understand each other. Its funny cuz its happening even though we've gone through so much. But I guess, I mumble. Thing is, I don't expect you to chase me. Though it'll make things so much easier, like back then. Haha. But I know you won't. So not gonna have any wishful hopes up. And well, I guess it is a pity that I don't chase girls. But no point chasing a girl who already chose the opposite way right? But you're right. I think God, too, wants me to take intiative. Just yesterday's speaker at the Hillsongs concert told us that "Guys are suppose to take the initiative in a romantic relationship. So all you single ladies just sit there and be pretty. Cuz if a guy dosen't have the guts, the courage, the man-ness to walk over the auditorium to ask you out, he is not good enough for you." Haha! I just dissed myself. Oh wells, I guess its true. Im not good enough for you. Unless, God meant me to be taking initiative for another girl. Though I don't think I know who she is. Time will tell its tale eh? Haha. Really wonder how many songs I've wrote for you, about you, to you. Wonder if you remember the first one. Doubt you do. Its been, weirdly, exactly 222 days ago since you 'heard' it. Haha. Yes darling, I am one sentimental idiot. Im so stupid to post this on my blog. But, dear, I've still got the Strepsils box you gave/bought me exactly 10 days before the song. Haha! Im totally wondering if you remember any of these. It'd be really sweet if you did. But, theres a limit to how sweet you can get eh? Haha. Oh, and before I forget. You're right you know. I am playing your game against you. Im sorry. I had hoped for it to turn out better, but when the moment came... You know how my mind can go blank when I see you. So Im sorry, didn't know what to do! Oh wells, I do miss you, you know. And one thing that really hits the nail: the 5 minutes in front of the piano. Haha. That could be the title of a song! Alas, wondering if you understand me. Oh and by the way, sorry, but no actions gonna be taken by me for now. Sorry. Kinda really want to, but you know, got to do the mature thing that Im expected to do. Focus on my Os, though Im not really doing that by posting such a long invisible post thats meant for only one person to read. Haha. Oh wells. Love is patient.

The Maine - Into Your Arms

Im fallin' in love

But its fallin' apart

I need to find my way back to the start

When we were in love

Oh things were better than they are

Let me back into

Into your arms

Into your arms

PS. Is that 'get a life please' meant for me?

lovin' ya!

.Bros before Hoes

Yep. You heard it.

Bros before Hoes.

Yes. Now its all about the guys and screw off the girls for me. Haha. Explain in a while.

So my last post was really out of the blue and stuff. Had no link whatsoever with what happened this week. So, now is the time to encore the events.

First, Monday. What a screwed shit day. Highlight of that day: Harry Potty and the Sexy Boy. Yeps. I've watched that show without reading or watching any of the series, well, except the Birdie one. So, this one is my 2nd one. First one was back in Sec2. Watched the Birdie one. So, yea. Barely knew who was who except Hermoine. Damn. But anyways, unfortunately for me, everyone else had either extra lessons or a retest. So lonely me had to wait a hella long for them. But in the end, watched the 4pm show. Ended at around 6.45pm. Was so-so. Not that great except that Emma is fricking hot! Had to go through lotsa shit at home, which hence caused it to be a screwed shit day. And there goes me using chim words like 'hence' and 'to'.

Tuesday. Was even worse than Monday. Easy to summarise in one word. Tuition.

Wednesday. School ends at 12.30! Damn. Is O levels a frigging blessing or what! Well, played bball with many 4H people plus TingWei, Meng, MC, Javier. Really crapped my pants and shoes up. Stupid slippery floor. What a stupid predicament. I think I spelled that wrongly.

Epic Day = 230709, Thursday. What a day. I officially ended my record of not going to canteen during recess after 108 consecutive times. Oh damn. Beat that suckas! But yes darlings, I stepped into the canteen for the first time this year during recess. And guess what, I found back the joy of having a proper recess. Instead of stoning in class eating biscuits and bread, I have broken free of the curse that is my class. What an awesome feeling! Seriously, it felt hella great. Anyways, stupid extra lessons. Why does my shitass class always have extra lessons while the rest can slack off like mofos?? So in the end, the only person I could find to go home with was Micah. Yep. Oh and composed and wrote a song! And one word. CO-LEH-BO-RA-SHERN. Don't get it? Let me spell it out. C-O-L-L-A-B-O-R-A-T-I-O-N. Aww yea. Quite a cool feeling you know. My recording software thing is dope, but freaking difficult to use. Oh wells... Its fun! Epic!

Deon = Cute Bear.

WTF

Today. Not bad a day. Other than the 5 and a half hours I was in the dipshit classroom. Went canteen during recess. Again. What a breath of fresh air! What a fun and enjoyable place! What a polar opposite of my booboo class! Seriously... You have NO IDEA. How I wish I could change my class. That 45minutes in the canteen with the dudes was like a fricking shit load much better than the 5 and a half hours in that excretion class. Anyways, Geog test was really fun! Played soccer for like 3 or 4 hours. Been a long time since I did such shit. Oh, I've still got some skills. Hehe. Plus I now know I have a rather inconsistent form. And there I go with the act english pro shit. But you know whats really pro shit? Me curling the ball through Adriel and Chim. Thats pro. Plus a feel-good save from Qin's shot. A feel-freaking-good-after-saving-the-shot save. All 11 of them had to cheong for our dear Mr Ah Eng so they wouldn't have to climb the backgate, while I calmly strolled out the main gate. Aww YEA!

So yea. Actually been quite a good week. And if you haven't noticed, I haven't mentioned any girl's name so far at all. Well, except Hermoine and Emma. But that dosen't count. So, see. Im such a bro kind of guy now. Totally man. Im like a freaking Michael Chiang now! And guess what, this feeling actually isn't all that bad. Yep. Bros before Hoes, man. I know this is gonna sound so freaking gay, but I realise how much I miss hanging out with the cooler dudes. Omg. Thats so gay. But anyways, I haven't been chilling with any of them for a real long time. How much stuff I missed out. Feel like a freaking loser you know. But anyways, Im back, and Im here to rock your shit. So yea, for now, its all about the guy friends, and I don't have any more commitments to any girl anymore. Woah. Its the first time since primary school that I don't have a close girl friend or anything more than that. So, WOW. Oh and also, some girls in my class becoming really KPKB and cold to me. Can guess why. But I don't care. Stupid class with stupid people. Okay, not all. But ALMOST all.

Okay. This post is all about the long paragraphs sia. Wondering if anyone would read the whole thing. Oh wells... Its not really for you to read, its for myself. Oh and you know what, bastardishly, I really want the KPKB girls and whoever else from this indespicable class to read this post. Seriously. GET A LIFE LOSERS.

HAHA. I am such an asshole.

.The Good Ole Days

Back then... Wow...

We all looked real damn young eh. Look at... Our hair! Our shorts! Our faces! Quite cool eh...

Heh.

Anyways, this post is like not gonna be much cuz like its already 4am. Plus theres like hcl test tmr (or later in the morning). But anyways, this post is like kinda for me thinking back during Sec2. Was it a great year or what...

Oh and by the way, this is kinda cuz of Miss Ng's birthday last friday. Yea. I know I forgot to mention it in my last post.

Anyways, went back to 2007 looking at all the pictures from 2D. Beijing, Show and Tell, and all those stuff.

But yet again, it wasn't the events that year which made it great, it was the people. Yea.

2D really was the coolest class ever eh. Seriously... Heh. Really miss the times eh. Guess when I leave AHS next year, I'd miss 2D the most. More than 1C, and definitely more than 3/4B (no offence). We were just too great.

Oh and all lots of stuff that happened then can be read from: http://benyeo2007memories.blogspot.com/ Yeps. From the KKH fall to the thankyous. Check it out. Gives the goosebumps.

Woah. I think I suddenly kinda miss Lihui. Oops...
Anyways, don't feel like typing anymore, should try to get some sleep.Heres the picture from Friday. 2 years after the picture on top. Watch us GROW!

Oh and by the way, check this guy out on youtube. 'youmefriend722'. Cheena looking Korean boy with AngMoh voice.

.Flarey Darey

Heres proof my flares arn't as shit as before.

Yea. And heres me promising myself in front of all who ever come to this pathetic excuse of a blog: I'll be ripping flares and mills by prom. No kidding. See me own the floor.

Haha. Anyways, been some time since I posted. Don't know if people ever come here, so please tag if you do. Just say a 'tagged!' or whatever suits your mood. If not a bit sian la hor...

So, the past week's been okay. And by okay I mean I amazingly managed to finish a zuo wen in 2 periods, studied much more than Anna or Nowelle but pretty much did a hell lot more than them in the SS test, did a crapped shit cover of 1,2,3,4 with Javier MC & Deon, had a hell lot of fun playing Texas Poker on Facebook and reached the top10, and had a real hard time trying to get over stuff. Though, Im still trying. Yeps, its sucks for me more than you know.

'Mister, I'll make a man out of you.'

I sure hope so.

Woah. I just realised there really isn't much else to post about since I just summarised everything. I think... Hmmm. Well, I've been figuring out the melodies for many of the songs from Boys over Flowers. Moreorless know how to play 'Almost Paradise' chorus on guitar and piano. Its much nicer slow you know. Just an FYI.

Oh one thing. Found it out while walking home tonight. Was thinking about us, or "us". So, turns out I think God's been trying to tell me not to get involved with any girls during Sec sch. I mean since Sec1 til now, every relationship's failed or the girl confesses too late. Okay, not confessing to the girl I like is kinda pussy shit. But what the heck. I don't like chasing girls... And anyways, its not me chasing girls. Its girls chasing me.

:D

Haha. Stupid.

But true.

Wish I could sing better. Wanna play guit better too. Ahla... I wanna play everything better. Including the guzheng. Juen Juen, teach me~!

David Choi looks really bored though he sings well.

i know ur just gonna get all pissed if i say this, but dear, i wanna forget you. and find another girl that isnt you. i know im such a bastard. you said it urself. but anyways, it really isnt that bad eh? since you've already ran away with whoever before i did anything like that. so tata my dear. still love you, but dont think you do anymore. told you before that i dont like chasing girls. though you mean so much to me. sorry. i really am. bye. and like how we used to say, missing you lots and lots! oh and you can still sms if you ever want, we're still friends k? right?

.The Light behind that Cloud

Think happy thoughts... Think happy thoughts...

I really want to post emo stuff now. But I promised myself before that I won't do that on this blog. So I won't. Haiz...

Anyways, the picture courtesy of whoever was holding on to Jasmine's camera on the way to Sam's birthday chalet. Not bad picture bahs. And it does mean something to me now. Ahlas, never mind that. I can't emo, I can't emo...

Well, been a really long time since I posted. Last Monday night. Which means I haven't posted about me getting sick. So anyways, I got sick on Tuesday after my tuition (I must be allergic). Didn't go school on Wednesday and Thursday. So I got through the worst days of the week by not going to school. Thats a hell of a great way to get by those 2 days. Stupid midweek mofos. Anyways, my temperature got quite high up to 39.4C. Thats quite high you know, my brain got fried.

Javier Deon MC came over on Friday to jam. Wow. That was great, considering Deon and MC don't know how to play shit. Haha. But Deon can sing (:O) and MC has mad skills on the keys (wtfs). Anyways, Deon's learning bass from me for prom. Wow. Prom's less than half a year leh. Deon ain't got much time.

But talking about prom. Really anticipating that day sia. It'd better be great. No. It'd better be AWESOME. Seriously man... Sec3 SCs better buck up. That'll be like our official last day together as Sec4s. But anyways, we'd better get the best prom ever. Ever.

So anyways, on Friday I also discovered that some Chicken Alfredo pasta from Simpang is really nice. BUT on Sunday I discovered it wasn't so nice when bought takeaway and in double portion. Saturday was blah. So was Sunday.

So, Monday this week. Puck it. and puck Tuesday too. Puck my screwed up life. Puck it real bad. Puck the fact that I can never get a successful relationship with you. Really want to. But got to face the pucking facts i guess. Im such a stupid pucker. Honestly didn't realise how pucked up it'd become until today. Pucking mouth can't stop yabbering shit. Puck it. I feel like Im in a see-saw. Don't know what to think, don't know what to do. Left or Right. Yes or No. Right or Wrong. Puck my pucking life. Dosen't feel like its worth living. Everyday I go to school wondering why Im alive. Everybody I come home realising I shouldn't be. Puck.

Im sorry I love you

.Boring weekdays, Busy weekends and Quarantinasm

Okay this picture was taken quite a while back. During Joel's birthday party. Sorry but I haven't been taking many new pictures.

So, anyways, been quite some time since I posted eh. Oh wells... The title says it. The weekdays were a real bore for me, even when I went to play bball on Friday. Oh but one good thing is that I learnt of a game thats kinda fun to play. Its called 'Blockhead'. Go google it. Oh, but its only fun if you play with a friend. Check it out. Kan Cheong Shit.

So anyways, the past weekend was great for me I guess. Saturday had 3 rehearsals: YPM, JAM Outreach Skit, PP. Guess it was a busier than usual day. Realised something during the PP rehearsal and I really got to put some thought into it. Im really wondering whether its a sign or a test. Don't know yet. But I kinda really got to know soon. I've got to PRAY.

So anyways, Sunday was Nowelle's birthday. Was the FIRST to wish her Happy Birthday. Plan fail, but I think I redeemed it. Alas, no one gets it... Sunday. Played for PP, and acted in the Skit. Actually, acting is fun! It seriously isn't that difficult. So, CM was snacking day. Old Skool tidbits! Sui~!

With Wenky, walked Abigail to 12 bus stop. Then, went Bedok to eat a painfully difficult-to-eat McSpicy. Shit in Library. Cut my hair real short. Diam about the sideburns. They'll grow. And anyways, I DO have a fringe. I even bet its longer than yours! So went grandma house, then to Nowelle's house for her 'party(?)'. Played games(?). Eat Cake. Blah... Wasn't too bad. Went home at about 2am. Long time since I went home so late. Damn...

Today was another boring day if not for the fact that we called.

So anyways, last week has been like what the hell. First ShiRi, then Joel. Quarantinasm. H1N1 ain't that bad, is it? Ahla, I want to get quarantined! But only on weekdays. Its been WAY tooo long to miss this weekend. Well, school's starting and Im dreading it. Stupid extra lessons and all those shit they've come up with. Oh and Im gonna talk to Jimmy tmr. I CAN'T WAIT.

You know, actually I wanted to post more. But, I can't. Im too damn tired. Tired from doing 2maths papers. And its time to sleep and hope Im able to slow down time by a million times, so I can sleep long enough to wake up...

Oh and one last thing, STUPID PIMPLES! Don't you dare say a thing when you see 'em..

Nothing to say this time

Yesterday was Sam's birthday. Had a hell lot of fun last night at his birthday chalet. Dude, it was good, man. Do it again next year! Cuz you'd better remember all of us when you go JC. Not gonna elaborate cuz most of you were there, if not i doubt you give a shit about what happened.

Anyways, its really boring being stuck at home. I need to get out of here! Most of all, I got to do my homework. Study dates anyone? Oh and the Swensens' thing. I STILL WANT! Dudes, help me! I really really can't complete anything at home. Blah... Stupid facebook. Oh yea, do my quiz thing guys. Its real easy, no sweat at all. Thanks dudes.

So anyways, I've got the PK video from Student Camp. Anybody want it, can ask from me. But erm... Hotmail dosen't seem to allow me to send through email. So, only through MSN. But anyways, Jinni's suppose to post it up on her blog. So, be patient and it'll be there. Oh and yesterday's BBQ pics with Jinni and Joneh and Jasmine. All 'J's. Haha. I've got some pics too. Considered posting 'em. But, gonna have to wait hell long before they're all uploaded. Plus I don't look to good in 'em. Stupid hair so messy when I perspire.

Oh, and some gratitude to Nowelle. Know you were really really tired, but what you said really made sense. Damn. Thanks.

I know I said I wasn't upset and all, but honestly, I was. Im sorry I kinda lied. But I know that if I was, I would be one immature freak. So, I kept it from you. The thing was that I was kinda disappointed, really wanted to spend time with you, you know. But... You're right, it wouldn't be such a great idea. Just not for now. Stupid me. Im sorry. I guess I really am too immature.

Oh, and it sucks waiting for your replies. Killing me.