Realising ever too late

i dont know what i've been feeling, but my heart's been telling me something throughout this whole incident. so, i've now realised stuff. realised i've been finding and finding and finding distractions to get my mind off you, consciously and not. why? why am i doing this to myself? well, i came to an answer. an answer which i rather not accept. but there isnt much of a choice. so, this is what i know. i know i really truly still love you. i havent once stopped loving you, but now i really know how much it has been the whole time. its a feeling i've never felt for anyone before. never. so, i know. i know you're more than just another girl to me. you're special. you're different in a wonderful way i could never explain through mere words. but, unfortunately, this feelings, they hurt. this feelings make me feel empty. empty all over inside. this hole which was once there but you'd filled up, is now back and bigger than ever. nothing. abosolutely nothing could possibly fill it up. so, i've realised how much you've meant to me. though, i've realised this before, this time, its too much for me to bear. i cant take all this much more. the pain is horrendous. its difficult... its difficult to understand what is going on. now i know i love you ever so much, but... i dont know. i dont know if im the right guy for you. as much as i love you, i dont know whether i'll be able to be the great guy i should be for you. i really dont know. i love you so much. but, alas, it just dosent seem like we were meant to be. i dont know... but i really hope what im saying is untrue. i miss you...