01‏/02‏/2009

Farewell my dear

FOR: YOU
i really cant take anymore of this. i know its difficult for both of us. you think i want it to come to this? no. but i really had expected it to end this way. althought not so fast. haiz.. oh wells.. what can one do when things have become like this. i mean i really didnt expect it to end so early. everybody had said we wouldnt last, no way. but i really had thought it turn out better than this. but theres really nothing i can do anymore. as much as i still love you, i doubt you still have the same feelings you once had. i miss you. i miss the old you even more. you changed my dear. you changed quite a bit. somehow i could not keep up with that. and, alas, see what it has made us into. i blame myself. me, myself and i. so stupid to drag you into my life and ruining yours. the world probably should lose this dumbass so there wouldnt be so many dumbasses in the world. well, at least with the number one dumbass gone, things would be easier for everybody. i was such a waste of time. im sorry. if i could do anything about this, i would. but, i cant. i cant turn back time to right all my wrongs. all my wrongs i've been doing from the very start. and if i could, i would erase all memories of me in you. then, you wouldnt feel anymore pain. and you can continue with your wonderful life, while i go through shit after shit. cause there's really no use regretting. all i have left is a little bit of hope. hope that you'd forgive me and accept this dumbass in me. but i really doubt that happening. i really dont want you to waste your time on me anymore. i dont want to hurt you anymore. so just leave. please... find another guy worthy for you. cause i really wasnt the right one for you. though i still love you, i know this is the right way we should go. so we wont have to suffer no more. and more importantly, you'd have a happy life. a great life without me. well then, i really wished this hadnt ended so early. cause i've already planned for 2 dates which were suppose to be really important and unforgettable. but it seems that i just made those to dates into painful memories of regrets. well, theres nothing more i can do. nothing more. maybe they were right. maybe i really am too emotional. maybe i really think too much. maybe we really werent meant to be. i dont know. i really dont. but now, theres no use thinking about this. its over. it probably never be the same again. never... i hate that word, cause this probably means its goodbye, goodbye forever. i'll miss you dear. i'll miss you more than i've ever felt anything for anyone. so, if you read this, hope you'd just find someone new. someone who'd love you more than i ever did. someone who'd take care of you like i never did. someone who'd make sure you have happiness forever. someone who wouldnt ever hurt you. so, i really got nothing more to say. loving you like i always did and always will. goodbye my little darling. goodbye for forever.
FROM: ME

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