Blippety-Bloop

The List #1

2009-09-03T21:05:00.005+08:00

We're all grown up!

Im such a sentimental boy! Haha. Time for the recaps for the AHS years peeeeople! Okay, so, The List thing is a private thing. Only 4 people on the list. One for each year you see. So anyways, today, 3rd September 2009 (thats just in case I overshoot 12am and it becomes 4th September), I went out with LiHui. What a surprise!

Yeps. Really been such a damn long time since I talked to her, in real life that is. But it was good, you know. Of the whole almost-3-years of on-off BFF-ness, we never once went out together. Woah that! So yea, it was good. Even though its been so damn long ago, its still so easy talking to her! Damn. Honestly, the weird thing is that I really was a little nervous and worried that, you know, weirdness and awkwardness. But, woah this, none of that sort. Woah!

Simple summary: MPCLibrary was meant to be study place, but backfired. No studying from me, 4 questions done for LiHui (is it 4 or 5?). Mirror hunting and poor photographing skills. Katong Laksa and finally Bus14. Oh, sorry I talked too much, man. Haah!

Okay. Now lets see. Which year is she? No, not Sec1. Its weird Im starting this list thing with Sec2, but what the heck, its probably gonna be the longest or 2nd longest. So... That really had no link to the odd sequence. Oh wells. Deal with it. Like that girl from America's Got Talent 2009. And no, Im not going to digress.

So anyways, Sec2 life. In short, it was great. Awesome in fact. Sure, I made some mistakes I really regret and wish I'd never had done it (we all know the 23hours.) But thats over and Im still glad how that year turned out. For one, CAC2007. Thats equivilent to all I've done in CM and MM. Another thing, was the dudes and the class. 2D gonna be the best class of my life by far. And the bros. Bruthers. That word is so Sec2, but look, we're still 'bruthers'. Haah!

But no no. This post wasn't meant to talk about the man talks and crazy shit we did. No no. Its for LiHui. Well, cuz she made it a good year. Its like adding salt to a wound, but with an opposite kind of effect. Okay, bad analogy, but you get my point. So yea. Thanks to SngLiHui. Haha. So, a simple remembering of a few significant events we've both forgot, especially her excellent memory. Lets go!

So, first time we ever saw each other was January 2nd 2007. Honestly, I forgot how we even started talking. MSN? Sms? Phone? Face to face? I have no idea! Oh wait. We did sms a little bit within the first week. I think. Damn. Its such a long time ago! So anyways, a couple of weeks later brought Show and Tell! Haah! What a joke. Hey Juliet. Piece of shit. Hehed! Dance partners! Im pretty sure it was Show and Tell which lit the spark and propelled the catapult, or whatever it is. Yep. Blessing in disguise eh? Well, Show and Tell was still an epic FAIL. But the after effects not so. Haah.

All the quarrelling. Betcha forgot bout 'em. On January 29th, I pissed LiHui off for whatever reason I still don't know to this day. Haha. My attitude problems. What crap! Thinking back, I was immature as hell. Thats then, nows now. 'Whatever!' , 'Fine!'. Haha. Those lame 'quarrels', tiffs or whatever you want to call them. Even little petty things like... Not being sporting? Or throwing a paper? I don't know. Its been so long! In fact, I don't even remember what happened when we had these tiffs. Did we have to make up and say sorry and all? Or just forget about it? I have no damn idea. My memory's getting faulty. Oh but I do remember saying it was impossible not to quarrel with LiHui everyday of a week except Sunday. Haah! Oh shit that!

As Show and Tell approached nearer, we quarrelled less I guess. Growing up you see. Remember one day which I really liked. The day we stayed back with some people to complete the dance for the others. Somehow I've never forgotten it. Think it was a Monday just before the actual Show and Tell. Its was a blissful day. Is it the right word?

Oh wells, alas, honestly, I was kinda sad that the whole Show and Tell thing was going to be over. And you know what, I was right. After that, grew apart and stuff. Oh oh oh, but I remember one thing. I don't know why, but I've remembered that day up til now. In fact, I know it was a day when KaiHong didn't come to school. And a few people, including the both of us, stayed back to do moreorless nothing. Oh, we were designing the class tee. Yea thats it.

But anyways, point is, I remember she came real unusually close to whisper to me something absolutely unimportant and insignificant to me. Okay. Cheap thrill. Eh but back then in Sec2, those kinds of times were hard to come by and real rare unlike now, so no hating. Yep. I actually remember a specific day from the 2nd term of my Sec2 life. Amazing eh. So yea. Other than that, the rest of Term 2 wasn't that nice.

Then, BeiJing. Boy was it fun or what! The Di-Dai-ing, Truth or Dares (haah, knocking on MsNg's door and running away. we were such punks! haah.), the crappy 'dance practices'. Haah! Used to go LiHui and Tingen's room every single night. Lol. One night I actually fell asleep in there with both girls only. Oh shit. But it was still fun. Haah. Oh I bet she was so jealous when i hugged Delphine. HAha. Screw that.

And then of course, I would have to go through the shittiest moments in my life. The moments I wish most to change, the moments I regret the most, the moments that'll haunt me forever. Yeps. No details. Just plain utter bullshit of a week. 3rd week of Term 3. Will never forget, even though I really want to. Especially since...

1 month and 5 days after those shit, *ahem ahem* Im pretty sure we all know what that means. :D

Ended of the year pretty okay. So, yea, Sec2 life with LiHui. Yeps. I thank God for her. Really do. Woah. This is so weird posting in on a public for-everybody-to-see blog. Oh wells. I may forget all this stuff in the future, so this'll be a good reminder.

Oh, but one more thing, the next year and a half after Sec2, I was such an ass to her. Im not going to say why here, but honestly and seriously, I feel real bad now. Oh man. Im so damn freaking sorry. Was way too bo chap. Dammit. Im such a bastard. The last year me wasn't a good me. Oh wells. Its over. And I really am sorry.

Anyways, yeps, thats me and LiHui up til now. Honestly, I really miss the BFF days. Really took it for granted back then. So stupid. So damn bloody stupid. Sec2 me was a stupid me. Rahh. Really regret siol. She has no idea how much she actually meant to me cuz Im such a thin skinned bastard to not say it out. Such an idiot. Oh wells. Like SexyBoy says, "What dosen't kill us makes us grow." So I shouldn't regret eh?

By the way, this post was suppose to be on the actual day me and LiHui went out, but I fell asleep last night. So, now is the early morning of 2 days later. Shit. Oh wells. Attituded people coming up next down below. Haah!

Hahahahahaha! We quarrelled 5 minutes after the picture was taken. Im not kidding. For real. On her way home, she smsed me those kind of stuff girls do when they're angry. Haah! Damn funny sia. Im LOL-ing. <- that was dorky.

Anyways, watch out for TheList #2, #3, and #4. Should be coming soon. This seems so damn epic!

Peace yo! (just like how i used to do it in sec 2)

.'Videogames, Ventriloquism, and 'Vintage

2009-08-31T23:40:00.007+08:00

Its been some time.

Okay. I overshot last week. But it wasn't my fault! Invisible Children made me fall asleep on the sofa downstairs with the TV on. It wasn't a bad show, just too draggy for me to tahan on Sunday. Wonder why I was so tired on Sunday.

But anyways, not the point. Yet. Time to recap yet again. Starting from last Monday, more than a week ago. Damn.

Amaths and ELit. Was okay for both I guess. Oh but unfortunately, I wasn't able to focus for ELit. So my ELit A2 may not happen. Darnded. The next day would be a Tuesday and Physics Paper 2. Can't really remember much about it now. Think I'll be getting a B for it. Wednesday had Emaths2 and Chem2. Im sure to get A1 for both! Like totally man! Oh Thursday's English Paper was homage to all the geeks in AHS. The teachers sure chose an appealing topic. Geog2 was kinda blooped. Friday's Amaths1 may give me a B3. Yep. As you can see, I can wave BYEBYE to my 15 l1r5. RumblyRoo!

But anyways, Friday was a good day, compared to the others. Played bball after the paper. Feel the freedom! "DANCER!" Gayed off with Joel to EHub to watch 'Bandslam'. What a gay time. But the movie was not bad actually. Would give it 3.5 stars out of 5. The storyline was okay. The actors and actresses were not bad. (2 Disney girls. Woohoo to da max!) The videography was good. But most of all, the music was great. Finally a movie heavy on Indie. The Haze really was better. But anyways, the name 'I can't go on, I'll go on' isn't such a good band name. No wonder they lost. Oops. Spoilers.

Saturday was in 2 places only. Home and church. Nothing much. The usual play for YPM day. Other than the fact that its the first time for 1 and a half months that I've played for YPM. Woah that! Oh wells, unfortunately, the amp cracked up during the service. An unfortunate incident. Cell was not bad.

Sunday. CM's official Teachers' Day Celebrations. 1st service one wasn't that good, no offence. 2nd service ushering. Had no space to sit but the cramped floor. An unfortunate incident. Got to sit on the chair later though, for 2 minutes. Oh, I actually got Angel to pray for Aaron Tze. Woah. She is one quiet kid. More quiet than how I used to be. That is a Woah-able factor. She looks so ang moh, but I've never heard her speak. Never.

Devon (aka Russell) has a cute round face and a dangerous yoyo. Seriously, why was Super Yo-yo brought back? It was great back in p5. But now, its okay, but ripping off the new generation. I think I got my Super Yo-yo for less than $10, and it wasn't a fake. Now, its going at $20. Its not that big a deal anyways. ZhuHouRen boy got a fake one for $1. Thats how much its worth. 2 Angkukuehs. Ripoff call.

Anyways, Teachers' Day lunch was really good. For real. No wonder there was no present this year. Oh wells. The food really was great. The green curry, chicken-in-otah-wrapping-thingy, prawns and the suckable kueh tasting dessert. Good stuff at Tut-tut. The juice was funny though. But, no doubt, it beats Roxy hands down.

Oh, one thing. Feel a bit bad, like kinda sorta 'pang-seh-ing' Juen. Not really pang seh la. But, like, just never really talk to her and stuff. Oh! I got it. Left out. Yep. Sorry to her if she ever comes here. Im so wondering who actually comes here. Dang y'all. Can at least just tag your name? Don't have to say anything. I just want to know the average attendance, since I've quit using the counter.

Monday had the school Teachers' Day Celebrations. Damn! ChunKit can dance. He got flava! Serious load of style and flava. No kidding. He's good man. Passionate sissy boy. Haha. Kidding. Sexaye aquaman. Fo real. Anyways, Vin came house for nothing. Caught FinalDestination4! Sui~! Damn nice. Watch for any signs dudes. You never know when you'll get a serious case of future-seeing deja vu. And, yep, sneaked a M18 show. But I think I've done it before already. Beowulf, I think.

Bowling was a waste of time and money. Mall Catching could have been better. EHub actually sucks as a place for mall catching cuz of the complexity. Catching is all about the simplicity of itself. Mall Catching should just be a tiny notch up the difficulty ladder. Parkway is in fact better. Serious man. Team Ice and Water really wasn't such a great idea. My opinion. Haunted staircase was cool while it lasted. Dimension stairs. Exit into the future. Find your adolescent friends' children. Discover time.

Went late to Mrs Yah's house. Attendance: 16. Much more than I'd expected. Nobody changed! Well, except AnnGie. But, why? Only me. And I changed a hell lot. Haah! Its funny thinking how nerd I was. Its cool seeing my past good friends not moving at the same pace as me with time. Its great knowing most people don't understand the earlier sentence. Anyways, it was an okay time I guess. Other than the fact that everything was in chinese. And my absolutely wonderful grasp of the chinese language gave me an exceeding edge over others. Just like how that sentence made sense. An unfortunate incident. But anyways, its weird discovering the irony of the Primary-Secondary transition warp. The irony. OhEmGee. Oh, theres pictures from that day. But I don't think I want to post em. They're not really nice.

That was a long paragraph. So, this shall be a short one.

Reached Jabez's house at about 6.45pm. KFC was good. Table Tennis with a chinaman was good. Getting the Thanksgiving rehearsal pictures was good. Fo real, the pics are really nice other than the clarity. And thats why theres a sexaye picture on top. NO, not the spiderman one. The one where Im tying my shoelace in mid-air. Okay. That was bitten. Oh wells. Theres more where that came from. May post up if Im in that kind of mood.

Anyways, sent Shawn off to Canada. Superstar exit yo! Oh, and Popeye's has real good fries. Damn. So, as you can see, I was real tired last night. As I am now. The night of 1st September 2009, Teachers' Day. So, heres an overdue thanks: Thank you teachers who have made me into who I am now, even though it wasn't really the teachers but more of the friends, but that dosen't matter, since its Teachers' Day, not Friendship Week. Lazy day.

Okay. That was just the intro. Now for the real stuff I want to post. Well, last week, through the exams and et cetra, I've been reliving my little boy days. With the downloading of the 5CD Half-Life pack. Unfortuantely, the pixels for the game are so damn small, they only fit 1/4 of the screen. Shooted. Tried downloading free demo/trial/fake games from the Internet like how I used to do in p6. But every single game failed. Oh wells. Guess it wasn't meant to be.

On the topic of games, Family Guy: Uncensored. Its a game for the handphone, and boy is it way fun. 5 really challenging levels that bring the player into fustration but yet again with the need to complete the cootieed game. The complicated controls plus the insane off the hook graphics all add up to a top class dopeass game. And I strongly recommend all to play it once. No, wait. At least 5 times. I've already completed mine 7 times. And I still want more of it. You see, this is a great game worth playing over and over. Its so fun it lasted me a braincruching mindsmashing thoughtripping 7 minutes and 23 seconds to complete. So, GO! And get yourself this game.

Now, back to business. 'Vintage'. That word keeps popping up. Whether its on a book or a paper or on the computer or wherever, I have seriouslt seen it more than 5 times over the last week. This must be a sign. But what does it mean? What is it trying to tell me? What is its message? Go figure.

Well, Im really tired now. Its 1.13am and I've finished an Emaths1 practice paper. And that has exhausted me out. So its time to hit the hay. Damn. Im really biting people off in this post. Blahristo! Oh, I've decided to post the photo just for old times sake. Here it is.

Zeppelins are the way of the future

.Songs I can't sing

2009-08-23T21:34:00.004+08:00

From Jasmine's bday chalet.

It was meant to be a formal photo, but everyone pang seh me.

Okay. This is a short post. Just shout out: somebody sing for me! *Hint Hint* I've got 2 songs which I don't have the stamina for. I die out at the 1st chorus. WTH! But yea. Someone don't have Prelims like me and think you can sing better than this guy, tell me yea? It'll work. I just know it.

Oh another thing. Gwendolyn and Selena came again. Finally! Ah, but I had to play for bilingual, plus my class only had 2 teachers so, no time for them. Haha. Am I a pedo? They're damn nua! Not my fault!

Alas, this feels weird. Posting this stuff, while I have no idea whether anybody actually comes here. Damn. TAG dammit! I've posted 3 posts without getting a single tag. C'mon! Arrsshh laa! Oh wells, one thing, to all Sec4s who are having/had/going to have their Prelims: 'JUST GIVE UP LA, you know you're gonna fail even if you study. You're hopeless.'

Sunday afternoon.

Great fun, Great games.

.Friday Night

2009-08-22T09:51:00.003+08:00

The Sound Machine (2008)

Based on Roald Dahl book.

Well, Prelims have started. Unfortunately, I haven't turned into a toad. A muggertoad. But oh wells. Thank God its not the Os yet. Anyways, theres something which I realised after I posted my last post. You know the 123rd school day coincidence thing? Turns out I was wrong. We had our HCL Oral on the 100th school day not 123rd school day. My bad.

So, stuff I did in the last 5 days. There was the Prom Kings and Queens. Donovan, WeiLiang, Anna, Jerlyn. Yay. They're so not gonna make the Top12. But it won't matter if Prom's in school. No one would go. At least the PSG arn't being shitasses anymore.

English OLevel Oral. Check. Was okay. Conversation was kinda boohoo. I think my reading was dope. I think. But was freaking pekcek. Freaking frigging pekcek. Arrsshhh~! Its times like this when I just want to dig a hole and fill it up with empty soda cans. Oh wells. Its over. Hopefully, some miracle could happen.

Oh, another OLevel thing. Os Chinese results came back. You know what, my A2 in January really wasn't that bad. Poor peeps got B3. Feel bad for them you know. Especially Kelyn. Really sucks. I was sad for them okay. No sacarsm. For real. Sam too. Damn man. Getting back results suck. But, well, Leslie became a man.

So, Prelims are so far okay, I guess. One funny little thing, though, was SocialStudies. You know how we spot the chapters for the SEQ? Well, Yours Sincerely here studied 6 out of the 9 chapters. Happily, he strode into the examination hall, confident that at least one of the 3 questions would be one of the 6 chapters he'd studied. To his delight, as he turned to the back of the examination script, he discovered that all 3 questions were exactly all 3 that he hadn't study. So with a smile on his face, he realised theres no way he could pass. Hurray!

So yea, thats my SSS - Social Studies Story. Anyways, Geog1 was okay. Phew. I really did study for it okay.

That was yesterday by the way. Yesterday also had something else. Jasmine's birthday chalet. It was good I guess. Had fun. Recorded an impromptu song with Joel. Its wicked yo. Seriously. Too bad Abby didn't know the lyrics to Remembering Sunday or Three Cheers for Five Years. Oh and unfortunately, couldn't stay over. It would have been great, but alas, I am having my Prelims now ain't I? So Dexter and Jabez with 8 girls. Damn. Imagine...

Okay. There really isn't much left anymore. Oh, finally can continue watching MonsterRancher. Found a dude who uploads the videos. Yay Hurray! Stupid MegaVideo sucks. No wonder Youtube is owning its ass. All the other video places suckshit. Oh wells. Woohoo to the Youtube guys.

Erm. Faith said my blog is wordy and not fun to read. So, that means in the future when I look back at this blog, I'll be too lazy to read some of the posts. Which means, all this kinda would become pointless. Damn. Is it really too wordy? The tagboard sure isn't. Thats a hint.

Well, Amaths paper up next, accompanied with ELit. Hope the Mockingbird flies with me. Woo Woo~~ Im calling the Mockingbird. Im lame.

Hmmm. Zim Zam Zoom. Got like 5 full songs. Without lyrics unfortunately. I need Prelims to end so can go ZHR(ZhuHouRen)'s house again. Bom chika chika bom bom bom ka, Booya!

Finally on good terms.

Try to spread germs.

Advertisement firms.

!I am the Boogieman

2009-08-16T18:34:00.006+08:00

Cherry Chicken Chopsticks

Well, blogging has become a weekly basis for me. Unfortunately. I always am just too lazy to do so. Alas, more than a week since my last post. Happenings for me coming up ahead.

NDCD. National Day Celebrations Day. Fights of pillows and smses. The Hangover was not bad a show. Worth watching. Theres porn though. YPM, no offence, but was kind of meaningless for me. Went after P&W, and well, cell, wasn't much. Spent NDP at Grandma's house. It was. Okay. Hurray Singapore Idol! The Asian Avril Lavigne ain't that funny really. Honestly, I couldn't laugh. Well, my mundane life. Monday. Subway for lunch. Thats all I can remember. Hurray! Don't regret not partying at Sam's though.

School's back, and boy, are we glad. Couldn't watch GI JOE due to tuition. Happy happy me! Puay Khim hinted. Parenting. It was really difficult to realise that she was hinting. Really difficult. She disguised her voice so darn well! Oh, listed out Coral Memoirs. Realised my PA days were really quite important. Phases in games were great too. Chapteh, Eraser etc. Those stuff. 6/1 6/2 soccer rivalry was cool too. Thinking back is fun!

Horror story in Vivien's phone. 17 messages long. Will post it up when I get hold of the story. Health check too. Don't touch me there! Oh, I slept from 7pm to 7am. Nothing else worth mentioning.

Sexaye writings day! I drew Kevin (Anna)! He was bullied by SunLi. Double Style Set down. Class photos arrive. But I didn't get any for myself. Oopsies Daisies! Haha. Like I care! But Im sexy in the formal photo. Check it out in Facebook. This is free advertising for FB. Oh and LiXuan is so jealous of me! Monster Rancher!

Yes. Monster Rancher. Memories of it flood in when I see it. My childhood cartoon. And, no, its not a Pokemon or Digimon biter. It was dee OR-REE-GEE-NALL! Came out earlier than them. And though its dialogue, storyline and characters aren't that great, nothing beats the original. Like 987FM, Originators Never Imitators. Yeps. Posers suck! Booooo Posers~! Haha. For real. Mocchi Cannon owns your red fire extinguishers!

Samurai Jack. Best Cartoon Network show ever. Better than PPG. Found a place to watch it all over again. But, its not that enjoyable watching all over again on the com, especially when we're naturally more kan cheong on the com compared to on the tv. Boy, does Samurai Jack delay and drag the whole damn thing. But thats just why it was great. Was depressing when Cartoon Network stopped all its broadcasts of Samurai Jack. Watcha!

Childhood Cartoons. Can't forget them eh? Without them, we wouldn't be how we are today. So yea. A list was made on Friday! Top Childhood Cartoons of BenYeo(1993-2009), not in whatsoever order FYI.

-MonsterRancher

-SamuraiJack

-PPG

-SpongebobSquarepants

-Avatar:LegendOfAang

- Ben 10

-FamilyGuy

-TheSimpsons

-Phineas&Ferb

- Xmen:Evolution

-Roly Poly Ollie (is this a cartoon?)

-DragonTales

-BatmanForever

-TheRoadrunner/BugsBunnyShow

-TeenTitans

There you go. Top15. And yes. There is no Pokemon or Digimon. Why? Because I watch dee OR-REE-GEE-NALL! Haha. So, ate BigFish that night. Dad's birthday you see. Swordfish. Not that nice unfortunately. But, boy, is their Fish&Chips the best. By far! Really dopeass man. Oh and one more thing, I realised that on our 123rd day in school, it'd be the first day of our English 'O' Oral. And just last year, on the 123rd day in school, we were having our HCL 'O' Oral. Coincidence? I think NOT! Haha. The Incredibles.

Yesterday's Career Fair thing was better than I expected/thought.

Today. Gwendolyn and Selena didn't come! D: So sad! Oops. Shouldn't be showing favouritism. But... They come only once in 6 months sia! So sad you know. Had fun with them one week earlier. Oh wells... So, here I am blogging instead of studying. My Prelims are so going WooHoo! Im putting sliced apples in my mouth like a Chubby Bunny!

One last thing before I end of this post.

Only stupid people don't understand, as demonstrated from my experiment with Anna. Haha Vivien!

Well, drew this during the Chem test last week. I got 10 for the test in the end. So, yay me! 10/10 siol! :D

Oh, and I feel like joining the songwriting thing from my church just for the fun of it. Don't know if I should. Got to study lei. Oh wells. Will see how. But Jasmine should be getting some oomphffs on Friday! I think.

Oh and remember to click a Reaction below the post. Its just for the fun of it! You know what to do!

Move your body to the beat.

Dance to the music.

Watch out.

Cuz the BOOGIEman is here!

.Recapping another week lost

2009-08-06T19:45:00.003+08:00

If love really was that convenient that just the girl next door could be the one, how simple it will all be.

Okay. First things first. Stuff of the past is, well, in the past. No more. Okay, I've said that a hell lot of times. But this is for real. Can't comfirm that what it really is over, but time will show. Really doubt anything will pop yet again. So, yea. Goodbye.

So, been like one week since I last posted a pointless post. Heres a recap. For you, me and everyone else in the world.

Friday, the guitar dudes return! Aww yea. Bet all the guitar people missed us. Yes people. After 6 months not stepping inside the magical land of the guitar room, we've done it again, for the last time. The wonderful amazing happy interesting memories flood back each step. Totally. But for real, thinking back at the 4 years in guitar, I just got to say, "Wow." Many stuff happened actually. But those stuff will be posted some other time. For now, its just about the last week.

So, after that magical moment, went all the way to E-Hub with Sexy Boy. Chatted, chilled and conversed for 3 hours waiting for the ass called Qin Hui. But eventually, we got the tickets for BOTY ASIA 2009. Damn. I've still got the tickets you know. So anyways, talked a hell lot that night. And that all that talking helped a freaking lot. Realised lots of stuff over the past 7 months that I hadn't really thought of before. But now, its all clear that what happened is all for the better. Thanks to Sexy Boy and Shit Ass.

Saturday was BOTY ASIA 2009 day. And, boy, was it dope. All Area deserved it in the end. Had thought is was Gamblerz for the taking. But when I rewatched, I realised why they lost. Anyways, had a real good time there. Bboyed a little near Vinson's house before meeting Bez at the bus stop unexpectedly. Reached home close to midnight.

Oh oh oh, I was on TV that night. Thank you very much. Fast-Forwarding to Monday, the first thing someone said to me that day? "Eh Benedict! I saw you on news on Saturday night leh!" Thank you HuiLu. And for the rest of the day, Im a celebrity. Heh. Not. But it was cool appearing on the TV. I think its my first time. Back to the woohoos.

Sunday was feel-like-an-extra day. After the Prayer Meeting, met Bez and Vanessa. Extra extra me... Blah blah. Went to the Indoor Stadium at 6+. Alisha joined us. Triple extra me! Well, FOP really showed us why Singaporeans go for it. Really showed us. Im so damn proud of us. So damn proud. Im pretty sure the thousands going next year won't go because of Planetshakers. Im pretty darn sure. So, had a ride home with my parents while they sent home the 3 girls. Hurray.

Monday. Had fun throwing the Primary School colourful sugar icing biscuits in 4H like all the dumbasses were like the seals in the Zoo during feeding time. Haha. Played ball in school til 6. Did a halfmoon! Damn man. Oh, and the Sec3s got some kpkb mofs. Had LOTS of fun playing with their ULTRA COOL faces.

Tuesday was SHIT. After tuition at 8.30am, had no mood to do much about anything but watch videos. No, not porn. Watching stupid shows like 'Borat'. Wasted one day just like that. Hurray.

Yesterday was crap. Played ball again. Top scorer! Heh. Lame. Unfortunately, I slept at 10.15pm and only woke up the next day at 7.17am. Wow. Hurray hurrah! I had only 3 minutes to get ready and get out the front door to school. But I managed to do it! Aww yea. Only didn't bathe. But Im pretty sure many of you smelly people don't usually bathe before going to school.

So, today only had tests before recess. Yay. Both were so damn easy. Spent half the time slacking my ass off. SunLi didn't come. Thats a plus. Oh but, while I was shitting during Geog, some brilliant guy decided to wash his smelly ass after taking a shit. And the toilet got wet with shit ass water. Thanks smart boy. His shit wasn't nice smelling either. Health Insurance is an issue. Thanks to the shit ass unfortunate circumstance of my class, we were the only ones who had extra lessons today. Hurray Hurrah. Watching all those idiots walk around mocking me. Arrsshh. It was good that I got an 80% for my Emaths mock test/exam thing. Unfortunately, all that was left was me and XingKai to do no shit but play some crap ball with some lower sec boys for 10minutes. Lonely boys.

Okay, so just yesterday I was going through Facebook trying to find some of my Primary School friends and it made me think back to the then. Not many people really know my Primary School history. I have a dark history. Like Batman and The Joker. Im dark. I was a nerd by the way. A nerd. Wow. Wonder if the Primary people still remember me. It'd be real cool if they did, especially some people I just remembered of yesterday. I was different in Primary School. Boy, was I different. Woah. Thought of some stuff, like PA (yes I was in PA), Prefect shit, Green house stuff, plus the scandals. And yes I was as scandalous as ever. Still never understood why so many girls like me back then. Wow. Im such an arrogant Bastard. Haha. But for real, I was a nerd who had cool friends. Yep. I was weird. Im not anymore. I hope... But anyways, I really want to have like a reunion thing so I can see how everybodys grown. Bet some people have become really chio. Cuz I can name some. Heh. Oh wells, it'd be cool if we did have that reunion thing end of this year. Cuz it'll be the end for most of our Secondary School and 4 years since we graduated. Okay, 4 isn't that great a number. Maybe next year. When its 5 years later. That'd be cool. Time really passes. Woah. Memories of my dark deprived childhood.

Haha. That seemed like I was some abused child who had to go through a dysfunctional family with problems you can't imagine. But of course, thats not true. Will talk about my past in the future. Heh. Oh talking about abused children, thanks Vivien for the MJ book. Though I may be too lazy to read it. Oh wells, its a chim book okay. Is MJ innocent? I don't care if hes already gone. Seriously... Who will ever find out the truth? I wonder.

Check out Gabe Bondoc. Hes one heck of a Singer/Musician/Songwriter. Oh. Tomorrow maybe a soccer all the way day. Hmm. Thats not too a good a thing. Prelims in 2 weeks! Shit. Screwed. Wake up dudes! Os arn't that far off you know. I got to study! Somebody motivate me to study! Arrsshh. Oh anyways, theres a show on tonight that has something to do with the upcoming NDP. Has Sam from Fighting Spiders, which is to me, the best ever drama broadcasted on Mediacorp. So, Im gonna watch the show. Oh, its called 'No place like Home', or something like that. Should be cool. It'd better be cool.

One more thing, the Double Fillet O Fish isn't all that great! Dang. What a disappointment! 2 fillets don't make things better. I need more cheese. Oh and tartar sauce! Yep. Oh man, this reminds me of my crapping shit days back during the second half of last year in my http://www.raging-freak.blogspot.com/ blog. So digressive and random. Miss those times. Guess they weren't too bad.

Oh and note to Vivien and WeiTing, its getting irritating with your attempts to make me see the class in your light. I just can't, and just is too stubborn to try because I've tried it before and it ain't that wonderful. So, just give up. Thanksies! :D

2009-07-30T22:35:00.002+08:00

I was right wasn't I? You really won't ever see your mistake. No point repeating it. Have been telling you for more than half a year. Nothing I can do anymore if you don't accept anything. Calling you will just end up with you shutting the hell up when you're not suppose to, and me being disappointed. Again. Like all the other times. And stop using surface level excuses, you know it was more than what it was supposed to be. Now, I can see why its easy to stop loving someone. The more you retaliate, the easier it gets. Oh and, try to read properly and don't put words in my mouth. Tatas.

!Sandy

2009-07-29T21:52:00.004+08:00

Love my Sandy. The only darling girl I can trust.

Seriously, only shes been as cute as pie and there for me even when ALL other girls be real bitches to me. For all my secondary school life.

She never lets me down. And if she could understand English, dang, would she know how much shit I've been through this few years.

I really can't count on anyone else you know. As in other than God.

Plus shes so damn cute and cuddly and all those kinds of stuff people buy dogs for.

I mean, who wouldn't love her??

Tribute to my lovely sexy dog. But, NO, she is not dead. I just really realised how everytime something real cocked up happens to me because of a girl, I somehow find some kind of comfort with her. Thanks Sandy!

Okay. Thats just weird. Anyways, this is not an emo post. Since I really can't take it. And I don't want to say anything I'd regret. Plus, this wound is probably one which time won't heal. Unless, of course, time could turn back. But duh... No way.

But anyways, Monday went to play soccer. It was okay, I guess. Was in Adriel's team against Chim's. Won. Should have scored one even though I was defender. But what the heck. It was kinda fun. I don't like field! Oh, and Old Chang Kee actually isn't that bad. Im such a lagger...

Tuesday was tuition day. So obviously didn't do anything after school. The Channel8 show is funny. Really. Oh before I forget, there was Emaths test. Should be getting full marks.

Today was a normal day which I've been missing for a hella long time. 2 tests. What a stupid joke. After school went with Javier, Joseph and Deon to Tampines KFC instead of playing ball. Was not in the mood to. But, the Banditto is back! Okay, yes, I am so lagged. But its been 2 freaking years since I ate a Banditto. And if you ever read my 2007 blog, you'll see how often I used to eat the Banditto per week. Which is really freaky. But its really nice. Never got sick before. Never going to get sick now. 'But... Its better!' And it really is! Its bigger now. And the roti's crispier this time. Aww yea.

Oh talking about roti, just remembered I sent a msg to Rotti for FOP. Yep. FOP is back again. Hope its even better than last year. Cuz last year's one was actually really great, even though the Friday one which Rotti(which was back then Bowling) went for and so giving a bad impression on them. Damn. But just go this time la guys, k? Steady! Really hope I go all 3 days again like last year. Friday hopefully with Rotti, Saturday with church, Sunday with... I don't know. Oh wells... We'll just see whether Im really meant to go all 3 days.

Hmmm. Not much to add. But theres the frigging Physics mock exam on Friday. Got to study! But its so difficult! Dang. Oh and I got to stop saying so much vulgarities and profanitites and other words to categorize all words that are inappropriate in a civilised society. I like just said KNNBCB jokingly today. WOW. Im going cuckoo! Oh wells... Really got to stop. I feel bad when those words fly out of my mouth. Feel damn freaking bad.

Check out 'WongFuProductions' on youtube. Shown to me by Joel. Their movies are not bad. Plus they're independent films. Go Indie! Oh plus, I've been watching some kind of Pokemon FireRed walkthrough for the gameboy. Don't know what so nice about it, but Im kinda addicted. WOW

From clothes to food, from a song to even tuition, I can't stop thinking about you. And its mixed. Part of me is missing you, the other part is just regretting I ever met you. But either way, its all still pain.

But one thing's for sure. Im upset I was so gullible to believe the lies you'd been saying to me. And Im disappointed you just can't see your mistake. But it dosen't matter, cuz I really doubt you ever will.

Oh and FYI, I don't have to chase a girl to show I care and love her. When a guy chases a girl, he's at his fakest. He won't be himself at all. I know. Cuz I've tried. And I hate it.

Also, this is exactly what I'd feared all along. You being fickle. Guess I was right. Guess everyone was right.

But, time can't rewind. And I too won't break my promise since I say what I mean. So I am still gonna love you. Or at least til my Os are over. I know I would, cuz I really can't help it. And it pisses me off. But what can I do? Dosen't matter if its one-sided, you've meant something to me. Plus, I don't lie.

.Im not suppose to let personal emotional stuff get into my posts, but I really can't take it

2009-07-26T21:54:00.003+08:00

No Im not. Im not happy at all. I know how sensitive you are to that word, but please just look at yourself. I know its not like I didn't do anything wrong, but please please please hear me out.

Well, firstly, you just told the whole world how you have a thing for someone else. And there pretty much just tells me what I suspected was totally true. And yes, no doubt, me suspecting was really insecure. But, it was true! And come on! You were lying to me! And you're saying Im two-faced?? Pleeeeasee. Think. I've been saying that since Hokkaido. And... Yea, I know you're Sec1. But you think you're really gonna change just cuz you get through yet another birthday? I really doubt so.

And yea, I was wrong. I am fed up with you now. Im fed up how you don't realise it takes 2 hands to clap. Im fed up you say sorry, but I don't see any change. Okay, Im guilty for that too. But think back, dear. Whos been taking responsibility for every quarrel, every fight, every shit? And the winner goes to Yours Sincerely. Thank you very much. I know I've said a hella lot of un-erasable boocrap to you, but am I always at fault?

Also, everything I said in the invisible post was TRUE. I wasn't being sacarstic. Wasn't having any intentions to 'shoot' you. Wasn't expecting you would be so angry to know that I kept something so insignificant for so frigging long, to know I miss you so damn much, to know that even though its been so one-sided I still without any shitting doubt still love you. And Im so damned sorry I do. I was honestly, truly, totally wanting to show you how I still do care, but you just have to go ruin it. Okay, so maybe I wasn't all that clear. So, you want me to tell you now? I do care a hell lot. I've always been, ever since last december. NEVER stopped. No matter how much I really didn't want to anymore. I can't help it. I just love you. Im sorry.

Love always perseveres.

Okay, Im so expecting you to not believe me and take me as an asshole. But... I am absolutely and fully telling the truth. Can't do anything if you don't believe me. Even though I myself didn't believe you, even though that turned out... Oh wells. You hate me...

that hurt like fuck

(:

2009-07-26T20:05:00.003+08:00

Thanks. Thanks a whole damned lot. I thought I was right. Really wished I wasn't. But, now I know.

didn't know you were so pucken' pissed though

i really don't want you to say this again, but, damn, you really are a bitch!

2009-07-26T16:50:00.006+08:00

Its funny, weirdly, I laughed when I read it. Don't know why. Maybe cuz it seemed like miscomms could happen even if we aren't talking. Its weird. Or maybe we still can't really truly understand each other. Its funny cuz its happening even though we've gone through so much. But I guess, I mumble. Thing is, I don't expect you to chase me. Though it'll make things so much easier, like back then. Haha. But I know you won't. So not gonna have any wishful hopes up. And well, I guess it is a pity that I don't chase girls. But no point chasing a girl who already chose the opposite way right? But you're right. I think God, too, wants me to take intiative. Just yesterday's speaker at the Hillsongs concert told us that "Guys are suppose to take the initiative in a romantic relationship. So all you single ladies just sit there and be pretty. Cuz if a guy dosen't have the guts, the courage, the man-ness to walk over the auditorium to ask you out, he is not good enough for you." Haha! I just dissed myself. Oh wells, I guess its true. Im not good enough for you. Unless, God meant me to be taking initiative for another girl. Though I don't think I know who she is. Time will tell its tale eh? Haha. Really wonder how many songs I've wrote for you, about you, to you. Wonder if you remember the first one. Doubt you do. Its been, weirdly, exactly 222 days ago since you 'heard' it. Haha. Yes darling, I am one sentimental idiot. Im so stupid to post this on my blog. But, dear, I've still got the Strepsils box you gave/bought me exactly 10 days before the song. Haha! Im totally wondering if you remember any of these. It'd be really sweet if you did. But, theres a limit to how sweet you can get eh? Haha. Oh, and before I forget. You're right you know. I am playing your game against you. Im sorry. I had hoped for it to turn out better, but when the moment came... You know how my mind can go blank when I see you. So Im sorry, didn't know what to do! Oh wells, I do miss you, you know. And one thing that really hits the nail: the 5 minutes in front of the piano. Haha. That could be the title of a song! Alas, wondering if you understand me. Oh and by the way, sorry, but no actions gonna be taken by me for now. Sorry. Kinda really want to, but you know, got to do the mature thing that Im expected to do. Focus on my Os, though Im not really doing that by posting such a long invisible post thats meant for only one person to read. Haha. Oh wells. Love is patient.

The Maine - Into Your Arms

Im fallin' in love

But its fallin' apart

I need to find my way back to the start

When we were in love

Oh things were better than they are

Let me back into

Into your arms

PS. Is that 'get a life please' meant for me?

lovin' ya!

.Bros before Hoes

2009-07-25T00:45:00.005+08:00

Yep. You heard it.

Bros before Hoes.

Yes. Now its all about the guys and screw off the girls for me. Haha. Explain in a while.

So my last post was really out of the blue and stuff. Had no link whatsoever with what happened this week. So, now is the time to encore the events.

First, Monday. What a screwed shit day. Highlight of that day: Harry Potty and the Sexy Boy. Yeps. I've watched that show without reading or watching any of the series, well, except the Birdie one. So, this one is my 2nd one. First one was back in Sec2. Watched the Birdie one. So, yea. Barely knew who was who except Hermoine. Damn. But anyways, unfortunately for me, everyone else had either extra lessons or a retest. So lonely me had to wait a hella long for them. But in the end, watched the 4pm show. Ended at around 6.45pm. Was so-so. Not that great except that Emma is fricking hot! Had to go through lotsa shit at home, which hence caused it to be a screwed shit day. And there goes me using chim words like 'hence' and 'to'.

Tuesday. Was even worse than Monday. Easy to summarise in one word. Tuition.

Wednesday. School ends at 12.30! Damn. Is O levels a frigging blessing or what! Well, played bball with many 4H people plus TingWei, Meng, MC, Javier. Really crapped my pants and shoes up. Stupid slippery floor. What a stupid predicament. I think I spelled that wrongly.

Epic Day = 230709, Thursday. What a day. I officially ended my record of not going to canteen during recess after 108 consecutive times. Oh damn. Beat that suckas! But yes darlings, I stepped into the canteen for the first time this year during recess. And guess what, I found back the joy of having a proper recess. Instead of stoning in class eating biscuits and bread, I have broken free of the curse that is my class. What an awesome feeling! Seriously, it felt hella great. Anyways, stupid extra lessons. Why does my shitass class always have extra lessons while the rest can slack off like mofos?? So in the end, the only person I could find to go home with was Micah. Yep. Oh and composed and wrote a song! And one word. CO-LEH-BO-RA-SHERN. Don't get it? Let me spell it out. C-O-L-L-A-B-O-R-A-T-I-O-N. Aww yea. Quite a cool feeling you know. My recording software thing is dope, but freaking difficult to use. Oh wells... Its fun! Epic!

Deon = Cute Bear.

WTF

Today. Not bad a day. Other than the 5 and a half hours I was in the dipshit classroom. Went canteen during recess. Again. What a breath of fresh air! What a fun and enjoyable place! What a polar opposite of my booboo class! Seriously... You have NO IDEA. How I wish I could change my class. That 45minutes in the canteen with the dudes was like a fricking shit load much better than the 5 and a half hours in that excretion class. Anyways, Geog test was really fun! Played soccer for like 3 or 4 hours. Been a long time since I did such shit. Oh, I've still got some skills. Hehe. Plus I now know I have a rather inconsistent form. And there I go with the act english pro shit. But you know whats really pro shit? Me curling the ball through Adriel and Chim. Thats pro. Plus a feel-good save from Qin's shot. A feel-freaking-good-after-saving-the-shot save. All 11 of them had to cheong for our dear Mr Ah Eng so they wouldn't have to climb the backgate, while I calmly strolled out the main gate. Aww YEA!

So yea. Actually been quite a good week. And if you haven't noticed, I haven't mentioned any girl's name so far at all. Well, except Hermoine and Emma. But that dosen't count. So, see. Im such a bro kind of guy now. Totally man. Im like a freaking Michael Chiang now! And guess what, this feeling actually isn't all that bad. Yep. Bros before Hoes, man. I know this is gonna sound so freaking gay, but I realise how much I miss hanging out with the cooler dudes. Omg. Thats so gay. But anyways, I haven't been chilling with any of them for a real long time. How much stuff I missed out. Feel like a freaking loser you know. But anyways, Im back, and Im here to rock your shit. So yea, for now, its all about the guy friends, and I don't have any more commitments to any girl anymore. Woah. Its the first time since primary school that I don't have a close girl friend or anything more than that. So, WOW. Oh and also, some girls in my class becoming really KPKB and cold to me. Can guess why. But I don't care. Stupid class with stupid people. Okay, not all. But ALMOST all.

Okay. This post is all about the long paragraphs sia. Wondering if anyone would read the whole thing. Oh wells... Its not really for you to read, its for myself. Oh and you know what, bastardishly, I really want the KPKB girls and whoever else from this indespicable class to read this post. Seriously. GET A LIFE LOSERS.

HAHA. I am such an asshole.

.The Good Ole Days

2009-07-22T16:12:00.000+08:00

Back then... Wow...

We all looked real damn young eh. Look at... Our hair! Our shorts! Our faces! Quite cool eh...

Heh.

Anyways, this post is like not gonna be much cuz like its already 4am. Plus theres like hcl test tmr (or later in the morning). But anyways, this post is like kinda for me thinking back during Sec2. Was it a great year or what...

Oh and by the way, this is kinda cuz of Miss Ng's birthday last friday. Yea. I know I forgot to mention it in my last post.

Anyways, went back to 2007 looking at all the pictures from 2D. Beijing, Show and Tell, and all those stuff.

But yet again, it wasn't the events that year which made it great, it was the people. Yea.

2D really was the coolest class ever eh. Seriously... Heh. Really miss the times eh. Guess when I leave AHS next year, I'd miss 2D the most. More than 1C, and definitely more than 3/4B (no offence). We were just too great.

Oh and all lots of stuff that happened then can be read from: http://benyeo2007memories.blogspot.com/ Yeps. From the KKH fall to the thankyous. Check it out. Gives the goosebumps.

Woah. I think I suddenly kinda miss Lihui. Oops...
Anyways, don't feel like typing anymore, should try to get some sleep.Heres the picture from Friday. 2 years after the picture on top. Watch us GROW!

Oh and by the way, check this guy out on youtube. 'youmefriend722'. Cheena looking Korean boy with AngMoh voice.

.Flarey Darey

2009-07-19T23:48:00.003+08:00

Heres proof my flares arn't as shit as before.

Yea. And heres me promising myself in front of all who ever come to this pathetic excuse of a blog: I'll be ripping flares and mills by prom. No kidding. See me own the floor.

Haha. Anyways, been some time since I posted. Don't know if people ever come here, so please tag if you do. Just say a 'tagged!' or whatever suits your mood. If not a bit sian la hor...

So, the past week's been okay. And by okay I mean I amazingly managed to finish a zuo wen in 2 periods, studied much more than Anna or Nowelle but pretty much did a hell lot more than them in the SS test, did a crapped shit cover of 1,2,3,4 with Javier MC & Deon, had a hell lot of fun playing Texas Poker on Facebook and reached the top10, and had a real hard time trying to get over stuff. Though, Im still trying. Yeps, its sucks for me more than you know.

'Mister, I'll make a man out of you.'

I sure hope so.

Woah. I just realised there really isn't much else to post about since I just summarised everything. I think... Hmmm. Well, I've been figuring out the melodies for many of the songs from Boys over Flowers. Moreorless know how to play 'Almost Paradise' chorus on guitar and piano. Its much nicer slow you know. Just an FYI.

Oh one thing. Found it out while walking home tonight. Was thinking about us, or "us". So, turns out I think God's been trying to tell me not to get involved with any girls during Sec sch. I mean since Sec1 til now, every relationship's failed or the girl confesses too late. Okay, not confessing to the girl I like is kinda pussy shit. But what the heck. I don't like chasing girls... And anyways, its not me chasing girls. Its girls chasing me.

Haha. Stupid.

But true.

Wish I could sing better. Wanna play guit better too. Ahla... I wanna play everything better. Including the guzheng. Juen Juen, teach me~!

David Choi looks really bored though he sings well.

i know ur just gonna get all pissed if i say this, but dear, i wanna forget you. and find another girl that isnt you. i know im such a bastard. you said it urself. but anyways, it really isnt that bad eh? since you've already ran away with whoever before i did anything like that. so tata my dear. still love you, but dont think you do anymore. told you before that i dont like chasing girls. though you mean so much to me. sorry. i really am. bye. and like how we used to say, missing you lots and lots! oh and you can still sms if you ever want, we're still friends k? right?

.The Light behind that Cloud

2009-07-15T23:04:00.005+08:00

Think happy thoughts... Think happy thoughts...

I really want to post emo stuff now. But I promised myself before that I won't do that on this blog. So I won't. Haiz...

Anyways, the picture courtesy of whoever was holding on to Jasmine's camera on the way to Sam's birthday chalet. Not bad picture bahs. And it does mean something to me now. Ahlas, never mind that. I can't emo, I can't emo...

Well, been a really long time since I posted. Last Monday night. Which means I haven't posted about me getting sick. So anyways, I got sick on Tuesday after my tuition (I must be allergic). Didn't go school on Wednesday and Thursday. So I got through the worst days of the week by not going to school. Thats a hell of a great way to get by those 2 days. Stupid midweek mofos. Anyways, my temperature got quite high up to 39.4C. Thats quite high you know, my brain got fried.

Javier Deon MC came over on Friday to jam. Wow. That was great, considering Deon and MC don't know how to play shit. Haha. But Deon can sing (:O) and MC has mad skills on the keys (wtfs). Anyways, Deon's learning bass from me for prom. Wow. Prom's less than half a year leh. Deon ain't got much time.

But talking about prom. Really anticipating that day sia. It'd better be great. No. It'd better be AWESOME. Seriously man... Sec3 SCs better buck up. That'll be like our official last day together as Sec4s. But anyways, we'd better get the best prom ever. Ever.

So anyways, on Friday I also discovered that some Chicken Alfredo pasta from Simpang is really nice. BUT on Sunday I discovered it wasn't so nice when bought takeaway and in double portion. Saturday was blah. So was Sunday.

So, Monday this week. Puck it. and puck Tuesday too. Puck my screwed up life. Puck it real bad. Puck the fact that I can never get a successful relationship with you. Really want to. But got to face the pucking facts i guess. Im such a stupid pucker. Honestly didn't realise how pucked up it'd become until today. Pucking mouth can't stop yabbering shit. Puck it. I feel like Im in a see-saw. Don't know what to think, don't know what to do. Left or Right. Yes or No. Right or Wrong. Puck my pucking life. Dosen't feel like its worth living. Everyday I go to school wondering why Im alive. Everybody I come home realising I shouldn't be. Puck.

Im sorry I love you

.Boring weekdays, Busy weekends and Quarantinasm

2009-07-07T01:16:00.003+08:00

Okay this picture was taken quite a while back. During Joel's birthday party. Sorry but I haven't been taking many new pictures.

So, anyways, been quite some time since I posted eh. Oh wells... The title says it. The weekdays were a real bore for me, even when I went to play bball on Friday. Oh but one good thing is that I learnt of a game thats kinda fun to play. Its called 'Blockhead'. Go google it. Oh, but its only fun if you play with a friend. Check it out. Kan Cheong Shit.

So anyways, the past weekend was great for me I guess. Saturday had 3 rehearsals: YPM, JAM Outreach Skit, PP. Guess it was a busier than usual day. Realised something during the PP rehearsal and I really got to put some thought into it. Im really wondering whether its a sign or a test. Don't know yet. But I kinda really got to know soon. I've got to PRAY.

So anyways, Sunday was Nowelle's birthday. Was the FIRST to wish her Happy Birthday. Plan fail, but I think I redeemed it. Alas, no one gets it... Sunday. Played for PP, and acted in the Skit. Actually, acting is fun! It seriously isn't that difficult. So, CM was snacking day. Old Skool tidbits! Sui~!

With Wenky, walked Abigail to 12 bus stop. Then, went Bedok to eat a painfully difficult-to-eat McSpicy. Shit in Library. Cut my hair real short. Diam about the sideburns. They'll grow. And anyways, I DO have a fringe. I even bet its longer than yours! So went grandma house, then to Nowelle's house for her 'party(?)'. Played games(?). Eat Cake. Blah... Wasn't too bad. Went home at about 2am. Long time since I went home so late. Damn...

Today was another boring day if not for the fact that we called.

So anyways, last week has been like what the hell. First ShiRi, then Joel. Quarantinasm. H1N1 ain't that bad, is it? Ahla, I want to get quarantined! But only on weekdays. Its been WAY tooo long to miss this weekend. Well, school's starting and Im dreading it. Stupid extra lessons and all those shit they've come up with. Oh and Im gonna talk to Jimmy tmr. I CAN'T WAIT.

You know, actually I wanted to post more. But, I can't. Im too damn tired. Tired from doing 2maths papers. And its time to sleep and hope Im able to slow down time by a million times, so I can sleep long enough to wake up...

Oh and one last thing, STUPID PIMPLES! Don't you dare say a thing when you see 'em..

Nothing to say this time

2009-07-01T18:01:00.004+08:00

Yesterday was Sam's birthday. Had a hell lot of fun last night at his birthday chalet. Dude, it was good, man. Do it again next year! Cuz you'd better remember all of us when you go JC. Not gonna elaborate cuz most of you were there, if not i doubt you give a shit about what happened.

Anyways, its really boring being stuck at home. I need to get out of here! Most of all, I got to do my homework. Study dates anyone? Oh and the Swensens' thing. I STILL WANT! Dudes, help me! I really really can't complete anything at home. Blah... Stupid facebook. Oh yea, do my quiz thing guys. Its real easy, no sweat at all. Thanks dudes.

So anyways, I've got the PK video from Student Camp. Anybody want it, can ask from me. But erm... Hotmail dosen't seem to allow me to send through email. So, only through MSN. But anyways, Jinni's suppose to post it up on her blog. So, be patient and it'll be there. Oh and yesterday's BBQ pics with Jinni and Joneh and Jasmine. All 'J's. Haha. I've got some pics too. Considered posting 'em. But, gonna have to wait hell long before they're all uploaded. Plus I don't look to good in 'em. Stupid hair so messy when I perspire.

Oh, and some gratitude to Nowelle. Know you were really really tired, but what you said really made sense. Damn. Thanks.

I know I said I wasn't upset and all, but honestly, I was. Im sorry I kinda lied. But I know that if I was, I would be one immature freak. So, I kept it from you. The thing was that I was kinda disappointed, really wanted to spend time with you, you know. But... You're right, it wouldn't be such a great idea. Just not for now. Stupid me. Im sorry. I guess I really am too immature.

Oh, and it sucks waiting for your replies. Killing me.

.Heres the Videos

2009-06-29T20:47:00.000+08:00

MJ's 2001 'Billie Jean' performance in New York.

KevJumba's Michael Jackson rant.

Heres the videos I promised earlier. Watch them though it may take some time to load, its worth it!

Anyways, may post again later. Hmmm... Just had some stuff hit me again, so I just got this need to post about it in case I forget. Oh, heard of this band 'The Notwist'. Seems like a nice band. Check 'em out.

.Thank God

2009-06-29T18:28:00.000+08:00

Well, there was school today. Hurray hurrah! Oh, I did NOT get caught for my hair. Hah! I didn't even get caught for my striped socks or for wearing PE shirt or not doing any homework. So, phew, Thank God. Nobody believes my hair can be like Yi Zhang's! Damn. But anyways, school was really really boring today if not for the fact that i found out SOME stuff from LiXuan and Kelyn. That was fun. I guess. And boy am I shocked! :O <- see thats my shocked face.

After school, was contemplating (WOW a chim word!) whether to go Sam's chalet or not. In the end, thought I could go with YunXuan and Nowelle to buy his present, but turns out I couldn't, so Im stuck at home, bored and thinking whether or not I should go the chalet later at night. Blah... Either way, I can't wait for the BBQ tmr. Sucks to be going school. Sucks MORE to be stuck at home for the whole day. Dang.

Oh but I'll be looking forward to SOMETHING else. :D Hopefully, it'll be this week. But whether or not, I can't wait! :D

Oh, another thing, I want to go to Swensens this week! For the one-for-one lunch special. Anybody want to spend lesser for more this week? Im free!! I really want to eat my beloved Crayfish Pasta! Haven't eaten it for almost a year already. Omg, I want I want! Somebody? Anybody?

Anyways, something I wanted to post about yesterday but couldn't because of the hair thing. MJ's passing. D: When I heard the news, I just was so shocked and stunned by the upsetting news. Its like the kind of feeling that you can't believe that something like that happened, and you just sit or stand or squat or stay in whatever position you were in, and just don't move and slowly absorb the unfortunate news.

I truly, honestly am VERY sad. I can't believe the King of Pop is gone. We're never gonna see the PERFECT MOONWALK for real ever again. NEVER. Can you believe it? I can't. And seriously, there has NEVER been anyone who could do that move as good as him. Not even close. Damn. The Grandpapa of Pop Cult Music. Without him, there wouldn't be EVERY single artiste (singer or dancer or whatever) there is now. We'll still be in the era of Elvis Presley. Budding performers won't have a target to aim. There wouldn't be this target we can all aim to be. Legendary. No one has ever and will ever reach MJ's landmark point in the entertainment ladder. Omg. He was... THE SHIT! I mean... Ah, you get it.

Even though I only really saw the brillance of MJ last year, it totally shook my life. I saw this one performance in New York from 2001. It was the 'Billie Jean' one. And I have never seen a performance like it in my life. Incredible! I'll try to put it on here later.

Anyways, JonLajoie was SOOO right. He says of the media being hypocrites, because they once labelled MJ 'Wacko Jacko', but when he died, they say he's a legend and all. HYPOCRITES! And, from my perspective, with little evidence, MJ is NOT a pervertic paedophile. I mean, WTFH! Honestly, I can't totally rule out the fact that theres still a possibility that MJ was really this gay chikopeh the media potrayed him as, but in the end, he really was charged as NOT guilty. But as a result of all the media scrutiny (another chim word!), MJ has been labelled as this weirdo freak shit. Crap! Don't you find it unfair for him? So, all haters, screw your shit! Anyways, about his plasticness, it apparently wasn't totally his fault, go watch KevJumba's video. I know KevJumba is a crap boy, but they are real facts about what happened. Will put it up later. So, yea. MJ is a legend, assholes!

Haha. Okay, that whole thing was kinda blown up to proportions. But it was moreorless true. I mean Im not fuming mad at the media's criticism, but they did do those shit. Oh wells... Oh, and MJ sang a song with my name as the title. Go search: Ben by MJ. Its a real nice song. No kidding.

Anyways, not meant to be an ad, but Sheila's blog's playlist is nicee~ Now don't have to keep listening to my same old boring songs. Thanks, I guess!

Haha. Anyways, I just remembered Anna and me are suppose to get treated to ice skating. Hmmmm....? Haha. I want! Damn long never go already! Haiya, but alas, not much time left. Anyways, this week's happenings: Sam's BBQ(lotsa people going, like angmoh party sia!), Swensens(pleeeeease), SOMETHING(maybe? hopefully), Blading(!! I want!). Hmmm... That should be it. Damn, that sucks. Alas, last week of hols. TRY TO ENJOY! Tmr's school, gotta pray for it! Ahhhh!! Scared of SunLi! Hah!

.Sometimes my mouth a bit big

2009-06-28T16:44:00.000+08:00

ARRSSSHHHH my school!!! Why must there be school tmr?? GUAI LAN GUAI LAN GUAI LAN GUAI LAN, GUAI LAN!!! That whole thing can actually be sung. Ahla, Im damn pekcek now and stuff. Should have STFU and don't tell my parents that have school tmr until tmr. Dang! Sometimes my mouth a bit big. Oh wells...

Why I don't want to cut, you may ask? Well, because I've been keeping it for 3 months, and thats quite a lot, to me, okay. And, seriously, its starting to look like Yi Zhang's one. I think his name is Yi Zhang. Aiya, hes the guy with black hair from Boys Over Flower. No kidding, my hair just need to be a little bit thicker, then SUI~ lo. But this bloody school just had to crash the celebrations. Wa, I really want to scold the naughty word, but i won't! Instead, I shall, "ARRSSSHHHH!!!" Eh a bit like Qin one, but what the heck. ARRSSSHHHHH!!!

Chikopeh from chiko land

Is not wearing pants

Who is this chikopeh?

He is the person who make all the Sec4s come back to school on Monday and Tuesday.

That bloody rhymed. Word. Ah, Im really damn sian now. Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah! Plus plus, I PROMISED someone that I'll still have long hair by next Saturday. And real MEN don't break promises! Seriously... Screwed school. Thought I could tahan it for one more year. Well, guess I CAN'T! Stupid stupid doo da deyyyy. I seem so high now. Maybe I am.

POONARMII~

On a different note, I had fun the last few days. Well, except for Thursday. Thurday was crap. Friday was a REAL good day. Woot woot for the toot toot! Saturday was okay i guess. And today wasn't that bad til tuition and the cut hair shit.

Xia Lan school

Go eat my doo doo!

Can't take it. I need superpowers! Lalalalala~ Can't wait for the next time I go out! Sam's BBQ? No no no. The next day I go out better be TOMORROW. Can't stand this shithole. No offence, to no one. GAHH RAHH PAHH...

Jimmy beemy bon beeny banana bom feeny de fee fi fo finey Jimmy.

Song for Jimmy so he'll be kind to me. That rhymed.

Blah... This was suppose to be an emo post. But turns out real crap. Cuz I kept my promise of not posting emo stuff on this blog. Okay I didn't ever say that. But now I say it. So, yea...

I WANT H1N1!!! I WANT I WANT I WANT!!!

H1N1 is the freaking bomb la. I miss him. He helped me. I helped him. We were happy family. Until, somebody stopped spreading him all over Singapore. Boohoo...

Omg Im such a sadist! NOT! Can't take it. Damn I really can't.

Thank God Im not suicidal.... yet....

Hah. NOT. Suicide is STUPID!!! And so are you~!

Crappy post with crappy stuff. I shall end of here.

BUT WAIT, I really got to put this verse here.

Ephesians 6:12

For our stuggle is not against the flesh or blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

Someone help me with this verse. Totally against how my dad was trying to reason with me to cut my hair!

Thanks.

This has been an orang utan!

.Everythings Transforming

2009-06-25T16:44:00.004+08:00

First up, yesterday was the Transformers2:RevengeOfTheFallen opening day. Totally didn't expect to catch it yesterday since the seats at everywhere were selling faster than stuff that sells fast. But Thank God, we managed to get centre row not-bad seats. So, the movie was actually not that bad. Definitely not worth just the half star that the newspapers gave. But it wasn't up to expectations though. Some stuff didn't make sense, like how Qin pointed out. Ah but what the heck. Boom Boom Pow! Explosive show. And there were some funny parts too. Not gonna elaborate. Go catch it yourself.

Oh and by the way, went with Rotti people (Qin, Deon, Vin, YunXuan, Jinni & Nowelle). Poor Sam really wanted to go out yesterday but couldn't in the end. Awww... Haha.

So anyways, starting to watch Boys Over Flower, or more like re-start watching. Cuz I actually already watched a few episodes earlier in March thanks to Anna. But stopped cuz Youtube didn't allow me to. Anyways, Boys Over Flower isn't that bad a show you know. But the freaking Funshion dosen't let me watch in English subtitles so I have to speed read the Chinese subtitles, plus I suck at Chinese so I don't exactly understand everything. Damn. Oh wells, maybe this'll improve my Chinese. Heh. Oh, love JunPyo's "ARRSHH!!!". Heh. Im so gonna perfect that! But I still hate his currypok hair! Okay nothing much about it already.

Err so, I didn't go out today. Wanted to do as much as I can for my Maths tuition homework. Shit. I did do, but not that much. Alas, BLEH! The crapass school is making Monday and Tuesday full school days. Wonderful! I really can't describe how estatic I am! Thanks a lot guys (and by guys I mean DrBoon and whoever made this decision)! Seriously, awesome!

Ah crap. But actually, Nowelle's right. We're quite good to have this AYG holiday thing already, cuz most people do have to go school next week, and its not just for 2 days. So, look on the bright side! I guess... Only problem is that I had planned to do the school homework NEXT week. So, well, Im pretty screwed! Plus, my hair! Woah. At least I can move my hair behind my ears, including my sideburns. Like a freaking girl! Damn. So gonna get screwed by Jimmy. Dang.

Alas, Sam's birthday chalet thing is even more screwed. Sad for you dude. But Im pretty sure the guys will miss school to stayover. Hmm... Doubt I'll be staying. 1.Parents won't allow. 2.I don't exactly want to. Pai seh dude. But sure to go BBQ.

Really really really glad we're totally okay now :D :D :D See, so many smileys with the capital letter 'D', means Im happy. But seriously, Im really very glad that we talked and stuff. Finally! We're friends now right? Hmm... Still love you though.

T is for Today

2009-06-23T13:13:00.004+08:00

Today is a Tuesday.

Terrible Tuesday.

Why so, you may ask?

Well, because T is also for Tuition, and Tuition is part of the Terrible T Society.

T is also for TypicalBoringDay.

Staying at home sucks. I need to get out of this place. Famous Amos don't satisfy my bored-out needs. I need fun and excitemet. Blah...

Since Im bored, I shall start typing in Twit.

Whyyxzx? Becuzz T ish alsho forx Twit.

Typiingzx inz Twitz ish so hardx. Iii thiinkxx sOm3 pee0p1e ar3x b0Rnx a Twit. Iii amz noRtzzx.

T is also for TokKongOfAllFightingSpiders,TheRajaLabarLabar.

FightingSpiders is a nice show! Seriously. Everyone should go watch. Damn nice. Thats the only good thing for today. So looking forward to it. So damn bored now.

T is for Tomorrow.

Tomorrow will be a new day. WITH NO TUITION! Tomorrow is the day Transformers:RevengeOfTheFallen opens! I want to watch, not tomorrow then Thursday. I want to go blade too! Its addictive! Tomorrow will be a BRAND new day. I hope...

T is finally for Thinking.

I've been thinking. Thinking about you. Im still unsure. I don't know what you're thinking. I want to know, so I've done some thinking. Maybe what your sister was true. Well, if it was, then now i know. I don't know. I still need to THINK.

B is for BenYeo

2009-06-22T00:08:00.000+08:00

B is also for Bboying.

Singapore Bboy Championship 2009. One-on-one: Oneski. Two-on-two: Radikal Brothers. 7-to-smoke: Farhan. And poor Sunshine got 2nd twice, so no air tickets for him.

So anyways, it was at Heeren yesterday (Sunday, 210609) Only me, Qin and YunXuan went. But the battles were dope! Seriously, all those who didn't go, be jealous! There was popping too, BAHH that. Hazrul and Kid-O exceeded expectations. And as usual, Mahmud was sick, hitting beats in every battle. But what the heck, no one gets what Im saying. Point is that it was nice. I actually took videos for both finals, but my com can't read them. So, too bad.

Oh and yesterday was Father's Day. Wanted to buy a gift from town yesterday. But the bboy competition ended at about 9.30, so not many shops were open. In the end, just bought a raisin bread thingy from ToastBox. It was nice, okay.

And finally, my bboying is back on track. Practised it for the first time in 2months! Damn! Jiayous to myself!

B is for Blading.

Today went ECP with Nowelle to blade. Its fun! Real fun! I want to go more! This is an open invitation to everybody who comes to this blog, to accompany me to ECP to blade. Its quite fun really. But I need to get my own pair of skates. $5 per hour is too much! So anyways, roxy dinner was not bad.

Therefore, today has been a boring day. Oh! B is also for Boring. But thats not counted. Because E-Learning is so super duper ultra mega NOT boring!

Seriously, its not that bad. To me...

B is for BadDay.

Tomorrow is tuition day. Still haven't done the 2 revision papers Im suppose to do. Yay. Help...

B is for BackToNormal?.

I DON'T KNOW. ShiYuen wasn't much help. I REALLY DON'T KNOW! Help. I want to talk, but don't know what to say! This sucks. and, I DON'T KNOW what I should do. Show me a bit of hints. Please?

B is for Bass.

WAKE UP, IDIOT!

!I don't want to emo

2009-06-21T01:57:00.005+08:00

Okay. I know the last few posts are all quite emo and stuff. Well, life here on Earth does really suck. But oh wells... I just hope everything can be okay soon. REAL SOON. And I hope I don't have to bring home lotsa stuff tmr from church. But anyways, enough about emo stuff. Back to the normal blog stuff.

So, the last week has been quite fun for me. I guess... Other than the crazy amount of emo-ing I do at home, going out has been good. Okay. I should be studying and doing all the homework, but... Don't know why, but I feel like theres not much homework for me to do. Oh wells... The anxiousness to do homework will come. Soon. I think...

So anyways, what did I do... Err wednesday went E-Hub with Rotti (Qin, YunXuan, Deon, Sam, Kelyn, Jasmine, Jinni) watched THE TAKING OF PELHAM 123. Damn! Is that movie awesome or what??? Okay. It sucked. Sucked real bad. Plus its an NC16 show, so we snuck around for crap! Dang! Oh wells... Superdog was nice, but so not worth it. Camwhoreing wasn't too bad either. Well, later on, there was just me, Deon, Jinni, Kelyn left. So we went to watch another movie. This time, GHOSTS OF GIRLFRIENDS' PAST. Better than the earlier movie, but otherwise, zzz... Pastamania was dinner before home. Emo night.

Thursday was stay at home and watch show day. Other than leaving home at 6 to eat SwissCulture with my family. Its good you know. Cheesiest pasta ever! But not as Eeck as the one from 18chef. Nicee~ Emo night 2.

Friday was play xbox then go town day. Chim, Deon, YanJing came supposedly to do work, but xbox seemed to be the lesson of the day. Went to town at night anyways. With Rotti (Qin, Deon, Sam, YunXuan, Kelyn, Jinni) again. Bought socks. Finally! 85 food was supper. A dark walk home.

Today wanted to go blading, but nobody! Rahh~ Echo was blah. Camwhoreing not that much. Went where little people have gone. Hmmm... Grab snacks from my house and off to E-Hub. Again. Watched a movie. Again. LOVE YOU, MAN. Sui~ Nicee. Plus funny. Good. Worth the NC16 risk! Oh and by the way, this week we bought GHOSTS OF GIRLFRIENDS' PAST tickets 3 times! One for TAKING OF PELHAM 123, Two for the actual movie itself, Three for LOVE YOU, MAN. Sui bo~! So anyways, Subway was a good dinner. Ate lotsa free food. Thanks Jasmine&Jinni for their generous small stomachs! Home.

Okay. Done. Tmr hopefully gonna be a good day. Hoping real hard not to get some stuff I don't want to get. OK that was a stupid sentence. But whatever... Also hope people accompany to the finals of the Singapore Bboy Championship 2009 at Heeren. Finals always have dope stuff. And I always miss them! Dang! So, next 2 weeks is e-learning weeks. Log on, leave computer there, and go town. Heh. I got to go out next 2 weeks. Shop! Movie! Go out! Okay. I don't know what I want to do. But all I want, is to get out of home. Get some new clothes. I really need formal. Topman! Watch TRANSFORMERS: REVENGE OF THE FALLEN! Oh oh oh, Blading/Cycling!

Oh, one real important thing. Clear things up, and get everything sorted out. So, EVERYTHING BETWEEN US WILL BE OKAY!

I really need the last one. Okay. Enough already. Looking forward to each new day. I think... I hope... I wish... I TELEPORT!

!Kill me

2009-06-19T13:05:00.002+08:00

I really don't know what to do anymore.

All I can say is sorry.

I really am, and I always will be.

I've seen what I've done.

I wish i could change all of that, but I can't.

Im really very sorry.

I am such an idiot to not see you the way you actually are.

I've been naive and stupid and plainly, just a jerk.

I never deserved you.

You should never like someone like me again.

I suck.

I suck real bad.

Wish you would forgive me, but I know its impossible.

Theres just too many things for you to forgive.

So, i won't blame you if you hate me for the rest of your life.

I would hate me if I were you.

Its just amazing how you were tolerant to me these few months.

Don't know how you did it, cuz I definitely wouldn't be able to if I were you.

Just wish I could speak to you for one last time.

One last time before i disappear from your life.

But its okay.

I know it hasn't been easy being you.

In fact, it really sucked being you the last 7 months.

Hate myself.

Lord, please take me back. I don't see myself of having any use here. Please...

It isn't the world crumbling upon me.

Its me coming to this world.

Why?

Why was I put on this world?

Just let me disappear, disappear forever, away from you.

I was wrong.

I loved you.

I love you.

Forgive and FORGET

2009-06-18T23:28:00.002+08:00

Move on, dear. Don't be like this.

Im SORRY. I really really am...

Please...

I hate it when we're like this. Don't cry...

ARGHZ! Im such a freaking BASTARD!

God, please tell me why im on this earth. I seem to be only hurting everyone... help.

I never make things better eh?

Im sorry. I just really suck.

I won't ever talk to you again k?

You live your life, I'll live mine.

You see why we can never be close? Come to close and I'll hurt you.

So, I know its gonna take a long, suckish period of time before these wounds heal, but it'll be worth it k?

Its better if i stay away from you for as long as I have to.

I am of no help or use.

Bye.

Naive

2009-06-17T23:15:00.002+08:00

I am so naive
Stupid to believe

oh and btw, i was being sacarstic in my reply. oh wells(:

bet i'll think im such an idiot when i look back at this post in the future.

!!!ROTTI

2009-06-16T10:23:00.014+08:00

okay. haven't posted for a long while. a really long while. well, camps are over. so im supposedly suppose to cheong all the way for my Os. really can't imagine myself doing so. but, it has to be done. anyways, this post will be just on the June holidays this year. its been 2weeks+2days, but its been really eventful. so, when in the future, i read this blog, i can reminisce the stuff that happened.

but first, i've been reading through my past posts, and woah, have i been an emo shit. so, this blog is gonna change. finally. oh the blog url's gonna change too. so, yea. i'll update it later.
back to the hols.

okay, so unfortunately, the first day of the holidays brought with it some bad news. my grandfather passed away. i wasn't really close to him, so couldn't feel what my dad was feeling. i don't know. this time, i didn't cry. dosen't mean that im a heartless bastard. but i knew he was already in heaven, which is a hell lot better than this earth. so yea. good for him.

so, the wake lasted til tuesday night, then i went back to church for the PPTTC. it was AWESOME! my band had Estella, Luke, Dexter, Clara, Gavin. i think that should be it. but anyways, i kinda kept talking nonsense and stuff during the games. so, it was cool that i managed to let the crappy BenYeo come out. it was fun. but really, this camp was great, not only that it was fun, but also because spiritually it was great. everyone moreorless took something home. i think this PPTTC idea is actually real good, cuz there isn't kids to tire us out or make us worry about them, and there isn't really a 'government' thing, where we are the 'campers' and they're the 'leaders'. so everybody is everybody. its like a chalet but better. yeps. oh and not forgetting, that we patched back. which was fantastic! missed that feeling a freaking lot. so, yea. thats PPTTC.

after that week's weekends, i was left home alone cuz the rest of my family went for ABC in malaysia. so, all the chores were left for me to do. its not difficult being a housewife you know. but anyways, i wasn't really home alone, cuz there was WenKai, Jabez and Joel to accompany me in my otherwise boring home. well, most of the time, we were playing xbox. we're such geeks! but it was fun. especially the thaligams or whatever Jabez said. oh, they stayed over by the way. so yea. 3 homealone days of playing xbox, cooking, eating, watching tv and waiting for an sms.

the next day would be a thursday. first day of student camp. honestly, i hadn't really wanted to go to student camp with the bowling dudes + Jasmine. mainly, cuz i hadn't talked to most of them for a real long time. so i had a little dread to go feeling. but of course, that was just crap in the end. the first day of student camp was, to me, quite fun. i know some people hated it and stuff, but i think it wasn't that bad. so, maybe the earlier icebreaker games weren't that fun. but the cluedo thing was quite okay. or maybe it was cuz me and Qin were going around doing stupid things and bluffing people. that was fun, for the 2 of us. but, i guess it was quite obvious that some people weren't having their fair share of fun cuz they couldn't really participate, or cuz they were left out. but, seriously, i think me and Qin were also moreorless left out from solving the thing, but found something else to do. i mean, any moment in your life can be fun, if you really want it to be, and do something about it. right? oh but, i do remember this, Jinni helped find the last clue, but i don't think many people thanked her, i myself is a culprit. but, i'll thank her now. Thanks Jinni!

the second day was really suckish til the night canteen games. seriously, the call-in game was a waste of time. i absolutely couldn't help, cuz everything was in chinese. so, oh wells... i anticipated more fun games. but, couldn't be helped. oh but thank God the canteen games were crazily kancheongish and fun. dirty games are so much more fun. we were covered with honey, chewing on corn, choking on flour, doing starjumps faster than ever, trying to concentrate real hard. it was real nervewrecking, trying to be the clock. but we thought we did well. not sure whether or not we really did do well. but, it was fun right? i think that was went we could really get hyped up with the WHOS NIGHT IS IT GONNA BE?? 1 2 3 ROTTI!!!

performance day. was great, with the softball thing, cheerleading thing, DDR thing, oh and the bino soccer was freaking stupid! well, our performance was dope. i still think it was the best leh. just too bad we didn't win. alas, better than last year, we got into finals. thats an acheivement. PK!

amazing race. woah. what a race! tiring! but must really thank God la. were losing quite bad for awhile, but somehow still managed to pull away. and the last run back to ASC was woah... unbelievable. doubt most of us ever run so much ever. actually, pulling Jasmine helped. quite a bit. cuz she was depending on me to continue running all the way, so with this responsibility, of course i had to push myself. so thanks to her! 1st place! finally. last year 2nd. this year 1st!

campfire was awesome. mass dance was actually more fun to me this time, cuz last year my leg cramp plus my slipper picha. yea, this time was fun. especially the 1st song, where we got into the circle one. actually thats the only one that was really fun. but whatever. anyways, bbq time was camwhoreing time. never taken so many pictures in a single moment! thanks Joneh for his happy picture taking finger! oh and thanks to Javier, Joseph, Deon and JHong for the satays, sausages, chicken wings and meat!

so, anyways, the brand new bowling-turned-rotti had a talk. i guess it was kinda good. one thing resolved was the Deon and Vin thing. thank God! they'd been quarreling for so damn long! but anyways, now all of us said what we want to say about each other. talking about our flaws. although, it seems like i have none =.= but, it was a good talk i guess. unfortunately, when JHong came and talked about his story, i fell asleep. no offence! but the worst thing was that, i fell asleep on the parade square floor until everybody left and i looked like a freaking idiot all alone on the parade square floor, sleeping =.= thanks a lot guys! haha. but i know i slept like a pig. Sam kicked me, but i still didn't feel a thing. im such an idiot...

that night (or early morning), we slept about 2 or 3 hours, though the girls supposedly slept 1/2 hour. we were all so tired! but still managed to get through the final moments in the camp. im glad JHong moved the QT to after we broke camp, cuz then, we could all spend these final few moments together, no distractions or whatever, and have a last farewell to our leaders, JHong and AdelinaJie. special thanks to JHong for bringing us through both of our camps! so anyways, Rotti minus Vin went to 18chefs for lunch. i hated mine! toooooo much ngiam ngiam taste!! oh wells... i like the ice lemon tea. =.= haha.

so anyways, we all left home...
or so you think...
haha. on the train home, me and Nowelle decided not to go home instead cuz we both really didnt want to! campsick feeling sucks! so anyways, we went to Bugis for no absolute reason. just talk and drank an XS coke. haha. oh, the new mall near Bugis is nicee! nicer than that stupid Tampines1. the shops there are nice. theres a cinema and arcade. and the food level is cool! manhatten fish market! i must go! so anyways, i was suppose to watch movie with YunXuan, Deon, Qin, Jinni and Kelyn at E-Hub at 7.20. but everybody was too tired. so alas, i went home at 8. oh but im glad i went out with Nowelle, been soooo frigging long since we went out together! cool!

so yea. thats the June hols. only less than a week before school reopens:( nobodys looking forward to that. im worse though. i promised my mum that after all my camps in June, i'd cheong for my Os. D: ahhhh! alas, im still a sec4 and i'd better get back to reality soon! so, yea. maybe some other time i'll post my personal notes to each and everyone of Rotti. til then, heres the pictures.
(oh by the way, our group was really called PAVAROTTI, not just Rotti)

bbq time!

bbq time 2!

Jinni, Qin, me, YunXuan, Joneh

street fighter!

Qin trademark act cute face!

Qin trademark act cute face 2!

Javier, Qin, me during service? oops!

Sam, Joneh, Joseph, Qin, YunXuan, me, Nowelle, Jasmine, Kelyn. also during service? oops!

bbq time! in the dark.

OOPS!

Act cute Queen!

Jasmine!

Yo yo, whats up! BBoys in the house! with one beatboxer!

Jasmine, AdelinaJie, Joneh, me, Jinni + half of Qin's face!

BaGei! with BaGei king!

Javier, AdelinaJia, me, Nowelle + half of Joneh's face!

Freaky YunXuan!

We're too hot to handle eh! Burnt with a knuckle hit!

YunXuan and Joseph!

me and JHong!

Nowelle and me!

Rotti guys + Darren!

Rotti guys + Darren 2!

Rotti guys + Darren + HongKai!

ROTTI! jinni's face accidentally cut into half. oops...

Qin, me, Joneh! lets play a game of odd on out.

Chim, me, Joneh!

Camwhoreing!

Camwhoreing 2!

Camwhoreing 3!

Camwhoreing 4!

Camwhoreing 5!

Camwhoreing 6!

Rotti + cute little boy!

Rotti + song leader dude!

Rotti + (forgot his name)!

Rotti + don't know who they are!

Rotti + don't know who they are 2!

haha. yeps. thats it! other blogs got more. like Qin's, his got all the photo of us with random people, cuz we were playing a game of who could take the most photos with strangers. Sam's also have. don't know who else updated their blog. but thats all i can rmb for now. so until next time, ROTTI rocks!

?Emancipation

2009-06-10T20:29:00.002+08:00

Well, I know this post isn't suppose to be here, but I just realised that I have an empty draft unused in my posts. So since this blog'll be like my memory of what happened in my life, I'll just post my feelings, thoughts, and well, everything I normally post about. Okay, here goes.

"Well, tmr's Student Camp o9. I dunno why but I kinda really don't feel like going. I really don't have the mood to. Maybe Im afraid. Afraid things will happen like how Im imagining they'll be. Afraid the camp'll just be a time of sian-ness and out-of-place-ness. I dunno...

"Haven't been feeling well this whole day at all. Guess its cuz I haven't gotten your sms. Maybe Im a real big coward, but Im afraid something happened to you. Something, I don't want to think about. I dunno. This sucks. Im feeling pekcek for a reason I don't know."

Omg, its so difficult to post an emo post after I've been crapping in my post for some time. Rahh. Forget it. I'll just recap on my life before this date (the day just before Student Camp). Lets GO!

"Well, its been a real long time since I last posted something about my life. But I'll -

CRAP. I just realised I already posted about it. DAMN. I don't know what to post anymore. DANG.

Remembering December

2009-05-03T22:29:00.004+08:00

Do you ever think back to this day? What happened, the pictures we took, the memories they gave us?

Well, I do, and it hurts. It hurts real bad.

How could it crumble into what it is now? How could it...

I miss every moment we shared. Im missing them a hell lot.

Remebering December.

Heartbreak Blister

2009-04-27T17:47:00.003+08:00

okay haven't posted in a real long time. but dosen't really matter since nobody comes here.
well, this post isn't much really. i just feel like posting. err firstly, since some people commented to me about this blog, i've decided to change the way i roll, the way i use it. so, no more emo. i hope... can't exactly promise that.
lotsa stuff happened since VBC. i mean its already been 5 or 6 weeks. school has been crap as usual. oh but i actually got to opportunities to have exposure for my bboying. twice. and both got to let go of. kinda unfair. i mean, its twice leh! and i dont really get so many opportunities to perform. so, darns. oh wells... nothing can be done.
so anyways, below is a picture of my fingers and if you look carefully at my blister, its in a shape of a heart. thats really kinda cool. i was just trying to cut it off in class but credits to Anna for spotting it out. yeps. so, i made a song. and i composed the tune on my keyboard. awesome~ oh and hope you don't find it cheesy/corny/errrrrrrr/lame/diao-ed/whateverrrr-ish. BLAH!

Heartbreak Blister
Looking in the sky
The birds catch my eye
They fly so freely
Oh so freely~

Because they have no worries
Cuz today is today
And tomorrow is a brand new day
A brand new day~

I pick up the paper
I threw into the bin
The many words all over it
Were written from my heart~

But this heart's escaped me
Slipped right through my fingers
Leaving me this gaping wound
This heartbreak blister~

As i lift up the letter
The one you wrote for me
I reminisce the past
And how its gone so fast~

I have a simple wish
Its really innocent and pure
All I want is a device
Which controls over time~

For all I have is rue
All I can think about is you
And these memories
Has left me a scar~

I try to use a glove
To hide it from you
But it's to no avail
This heartbreak blister~

please don't let your heart go, cuz mine would have no purpose then. i hope im the one who catches it back for you...

i know what i want now...
and i will take the 1st step.
INITIATIVE

Adolescent Affection

2009-03-20T13:12:00.005+08:00

i wrote this song, trying to convince myself that it wasn't meant to be. not the it helped, but here it is. i call it Adolescent Affection.

Lying by my side, we stare
The world goes by, but we do not care
Is this okay? It feels so right
My heart beats faster, the feeling takes flight

Your eyes, so deep and profound
We thought we'd always be around

Cuz there's a twinkle in you eye
It takes my breath away __
But this love is just a lie
Even though it brought us to heaven

Our eyes are locked, it seems we'll never be apart
But do you really have the key to my heart?

Your eyes, so deep and profound
We thought we'd always be around

Cuz there's a twinkle in you eye
It takes my breath away
But this love is just a lie
Even though it brought us to heaven

Frivolous thoughts bring us nowhere, this was all a lie, so untrue
Frivolous thoughts bring us nowhere, because love comes from the heart and not from the mind
What we'd hoped for would now never come true
But don't worry bout me, I'd be just fine
I'd be just fine, just fine.

the hardest part of holding on is letting go. but now comes the getting over...

Glower a Flower

2009-03-20T12:52:00.004+08:00

well, VBC is over. i know i haven't posted much. but its not like anybody really comes here. oh wells... VBC was actually much better than i expected. i hadn't expected to grow an attachment with the kids since i was extremely busy with the skit and praise&worship. but turned out in another way i hadn't forseen. grew to really love the kids, hopefully they felt the same way in the end too. really cute kids, and i couldn't have asked for a better group. but alas, its over and im probably never gonna see a lot of them, especially DanielChoi.
but this post isn't meant for VBC and its happenings. but more of the things i've thought up by accident during my tuitions. i've remembered some stuff that i really don't want to. the wonderful memories just flooded back and there was nothing i could do to stop them. it came so suddenly. it came so unexpectedly. and in my mind, i saw you. i saw your pretty little face and your glistening eyes. i went back in time yet again, and pictured me and you, just staring deep into each others' eyes, thinking that it'd last forever, unaware of what it would become. it is all these little moments when i just wish i could do something about everything, wish i wasn't as useless as i am. but these are merely wishful thinkings, and there really isn't anything i can do about it. i feel helpless. i feel like everything around me is moving forward and taking things into their own hands, while i sit there unable to move, paralysed, and all i can do is wait for my time to leave this Earth. because i can't forget. i can't forget those eyes. so deep and beautiful, nothing you'd every imagine. nobody would understand this. nobody. unless you've been through all this, and gaze into those mesmerising pupils. as these thoughts run through my mind, i breakdown inside. i can't concentrate on the assement books lying in front of me. i can't take my eyes of you. and i'd probably never will...

Three Cheers for Five Years

2009-03-09T22:07:00.003+08:00

I swear that you dont have to go
I thought we could wait for the fireworks
I thought we could wait for the snow, to wash over Georgia and kill the hurt
I thought I could live in your arms
and spend every moment I have with you
stay up all night with the stars
confess all the faith that I had in you
I had in you

Too late, im sure and lonely
Another night, another dream wasted on you
Just be here now against me
You know the words, so sing along for me baby
For heavens sake I know you're sorry
but you won't stop crying
This anniversary may never be the same
Inside I hope you know im dying, with my heart beside me
in shattered pieces that may never be replaced
and if I died right now, you'd never be the same

I thought with a month of apart, together would find us an opening
and moonlight would provide the spark
and that i would stumble across the key, or break down the door to your heart
Forever could see us not you and me
and you'd help me out of the dark
and i'd give my heart as an offering

Too late, im sure and lonely
Another night, another dream wasted on you
Just be here now against me
You know the words, so sing along for me baby
For heavens sake I know you're sorry
but you won't stop crying
This anniversary may never be the same
Inside I hope you know im dying, with my heart beside me
in shattered pieces that may never be replaced
and if I died right now, you'd never be the same

and I will always remember you as you are right now to me
and I will always remember you now
remember you now

So sleep alone tonight
with no one here just by your side
sleep alone tonight
how does he feel how does he kiss
how does he taste while hes on your lips
I cant forget you
I know you want me to want you
i want to
But i cant forget you
so when this is over dont blow your composure baby

I cant forget you
I know you want me to want you
I want to..

its been one month. but i just can't forget you. i want to. but i can't.
but for you i will.

don't stop. don't change. stay beautiful.

Unknown Peccadillo

2009-03-01T17:04:00.004+08:00

they say "the earlier the breakup, the less pain". well, they said wrong. if they were right, i wouldn't be feeling this way now. i wouldn't be regretting. i wouldn't be thinking 'how could i have been so stupid??'. most of all, i wouldn't be missing you. i know i really shouldn't be. i promised you and myself, plus everybody else dosen't think you're worth it. i really don't want to. why am i so un-selfcontrolled? why can't i just stop thinking so much about you and how it had been, how i could have been? i mean as i painfully watch you limping, i really wish i could do something to help, i wish i could have supported you the way i never did. i really miss you. and i can't stop thinking about this...
i've been trying this whole week already. trying to get you off my mind. trying to get a distraction. i thought i found one in someone. but... i don't know. its so complicated. so messed up. like my crapshit life. i don't know what to do. don't know if what im doing is right. don't know if you'd ever love me the way i do. if only i could just see into your hearts and minds, then i'll really know what you think of me, what you expect from me, what im going to have to do. well, i can't. so, im just left here staring at a blank white wall, unable to grasp anything from it. no cracks, but yet again, no beautification. nothing. unsure of everything. why can't you just tell me?? it'll really make things so much easier. it'll make the path of this life much clearer. please, just help me. please. you're neither in nor out. i don't know if you'll ever going to be in my life. or maybe im just fated to have this. maybe its suppose to mould me into a better person. maybe i must clear this obstacle, cuz if i find an easy way out, its just going to come back worse than before. i don't know. why can't somebody show me something? show me a sign, show me the truth. everything, something, anything. i don't care. just please help me. but i don't think that'll ever happen. you won't even know that i mean you. you won't know that you're the one causing all this. you won't know what i really am feeling, about you and everything else. you won't know. but if you do, heres me saying. i love you.
thanks a lot. thanks a whole freaking lot...

Wake Up time

2009-02-28T12:39:00.004+08:00

okay this whole week has been hectic shit, major mood swings. things are so difficult when there isn't a special someone there with you anymore. but i just got to cope with it i guess. unless...

oh wells. this weekend is suppose to be my super slack weekend cuz next week only has 2 tests that aren't that difficult. but it somehow dosen't feel that way. i still have this unexplanable stress thats inside and i don't know whats causing it. so irritating..

im wondering if its cuz of me song leading tmr. i don't know. maybe im right. i mean JonLim really put the whole song leading thing in a way that's got me thinking. i mean we haven't really put in that extra effort that we should be putting in. and we really haven't left a good impression on the parents you know. and even though i wasn't in there during praise and worship last weekend, i really feel that Jon was spot on. and i really want to do well tmr. i don't want it to be a lacklustre praise and worship where the kids can just go hyper on us and make things really difficult for us. i don't want to choose songs which have been sung over and over and over again that even the kids realise it. i don't want it to be a dissappointing time for God. so, im really trying. but im afraid you know. im afraid i wouldn't do it well. its difficult for me. arduous... but at least now i really see what the older teachers were seeing back in 2007. ah wells, i don't want this to be a rant about cm and stuff. so yea, you know what, i guess thats really the stress that i've been putting on myself. oh wells... just got to pray and trust in God i guess.
anyways, putting that aside, yesterday, i was flipping through my kindergarten final year(1999) yearbook. and found some really dope stuff.

firstly, the whole book is like litter with my work. im like the ultimate student of 1999. its got like 7 or 8 drawings and compos. not including the pictures. but maybe cuz my mum was teaching that year. but i doubt that thats the reason cuz... long story.

next, theres a whole lot of people my age from my kindergarten who went either my primary school or secondary school. 10 in total. plus LukeTang and JosephPoon that'll make 12. dope.

finally, this

whos been cool since the old skool days? aw yea, its mr snow angel. okay thats gay. but, alas, dope!

okay. guess im really reliving my childhood nowadays. anyways, im thinking this reminiscing also causing a lil bit of the stress. i mean kindergarten is like the slackest days of your life. compared to now... okay, it can't be compared. oh and also, somehow i still remember back then when i had a friggin crush on some girl and as i recall, it was sick, as in like a storybook kind of thing. hmmm... oh and somehow, i've never forgotten how the last day of kindergarten went. alas, my childhood really ain't that fun.

okay. the end. please tag more if you come. my tagboard still rather dead and useless.

Take me home

2009-02-23T18:25:00.004+08:00

well guys, life really sucks. especially when you lose everything you love right at the moment your life gets busier. its so difficult. so much stress but no one to hear me out. all i can do is sit in my chair and stone, filled with so many thoughts flying around in my mind. i wish i could spill it all out. but i cant. i cant tell anyone about it. cuz no one would understand. nobody would really help. nobody... but you. i wish you were still by my side, with me. life would be so much better. life wouldn't be a festival of pain. life would be back to the way it was. but why? why am i still missing you so much? why must i miss you so much? i don't want to. but i can't control my heart and the way it wants to be. it wishes to be back with yours. next to yours. together... but, alas, for i know its not to be. and i'd probably never have you in my arms again. all i have left is this ugly regret. i look at myself in the mirror and remember all the mistakes i made. every single one. how it made everything disappear within such a short time. and how it can never be undone. how it'll stay there in my heart forever, wishing i could just press Ctrl-Z and we'd be back in December where i can redo what i had done wrong. but thats not reality. thats not how this wretched world works. all i can do, and what i must do now, is just to put those remorse away behind me. i would... if i could. but i just can't! i can't live like this. i really can't. how i wish i could just die and leave behind this agony-filled place. this place called Earth. no i don't want to be an astronaut. i want my time to come. my time to enter into the place where our souls dwell. where there won't be anymore heartbreaks and stressed-filled minds. to pass away... to die... how beautiful. how much livelier i'd be... how i wouldn't have to go through the trials and tribulations of this unforgiving world. thats my wish. thats my plea... my plea to be brought away forever.
Dear God, please take me home...

I Wish the Best for You

2009-02-15T23:16:00.003+08:00

How long can we wait here
To say goodbye?
The words once they're spoken
Are words that we can't take

Back to where we were, before
Things got in the way
Life gets so confusing
When you know what you're losing

You
Me
Why can't we see that there's
More to love than we'll ever know
Sometimes you're closer when you're
Letting go
I wish the best for you
I wish the best for you

We'll both regret the hurting
That we will do
You'll learn to forget me
And I'll try
I'll try to forget...

You
Me
Why can't we see that there's
More to love than we'll ever know
Sometimes you're closer when you're
Letting go
I wish the best for you
I wish the best

If you ever need a place that you can run to
I'll be here,
I'll be here

You
Me
Why can't we see that there's
More to love than we'll ever know
Sometimes you're closer when you're
Letting go
I wish the best for you
I wish the best for you

moving on, my dear, is painful but necessary.
im sorry for the things i've done to you. but thank you. thank you for understanding. thank you for being so accepting. thank you.
i will always be here for you. forever and ever. im here. for you. always will be. for the rest of this life.
thank you, my dear, for those wonderful memories i will never forget, forever in my heart.
i wish the best for you...

2009-02-15T19:10:00.002+08:00

i dont know. i dont know whether to hate or love weekends. it definitely a way to get away from all the stress i get in school. but every weekend, something happens. something just must happen to me. i can never have a perfect weekend again. nothing will ever get back to normal. weekends used to be the best days of life. but ever since you were gone, i dont see the point of having weekends. i just get another problem from the weekends. as if the weekdays dont torture me enough. i dont get it. is my life a torture chamber that never ends unless my time comes? every week is a dying feeling. weekdays are for me to get stressed up by school and studies. and weekends are for me to have emotional torment. and every moment in every minute of every day is for me to think about you. everything is this damned world has some connection to you in one way or another. everything. everybody. all these is just reminding me of you. reminding me of how it had been, how it is, how it could have been. i want to stop caring. i want to forget you. i want to let you go. but i cant. i just cant. i million nails have stucked you down onto my mind. no hammer can ever remove them. you're just going to be there forever. i cant do anything about it even if i wanted. sure, i can stop loving you. but i'll never ever forget you. never ever stop thinking about you. never ever forget every moment with you. cuz now thats its over, im in a void.
thanks for the memories.

Mistakes

2009-02-15T18:51:00.002+08:00

Mistakes. i'd told myself, promised myself, swore to myself. that i'd never let one slip through. i'd thought i was capable enough, was disciplined enough, was mature enough. i was wrong. now i know it wasn't you who was immature. it was none other than this damfool imbecile. this piece of crap. never thinking before i leap. now i've leapt. leapt into a deep, dark, bottomless pit of pain and anguish. nothing can get me out of it. nothing. nobody. continuosly falling more and more into the hole. all attempts to shout for help will be in vain. no one will be there to throw a rope down. nobody will stop me from falling lower and lower. but this pit does have an end. death. so i guess it a lifefull of agony for me. nothing to grab on. nobody to pull me to safety. left there for eventual quietus. nobody seems to be there for me anymore. nobody ever will. goodbye...

Valentine's Day

2009-02-14T11:27:00.003+08:00

okay. i know i havent posted for some time. but now, i dont even know if anybody's coming my blog at all. so if you do come, please tag. oh and yea. i put up a tagboard so i would know if the blog is still alive and stuff. okay. so anyways, havent posted much cuz i was really busy and all. you guys should know all about it ehh.. well, school sucks. a hell lot. higher chinese keeps making things all the better. oh wells, got to freaking tahan a whole year more before i can finally get out of this school and get to poly or lasalle. im still not so sure about what im going to choose yet. but well, now is 2 choices: music and audio tech(sp)/sonic arts(rp) OR popular music - bass(lasalle). so yea.. i kinda wish i can do both. that'd be sick. i'll be like timbaland or something. but, oh wells, what can singapore have in store for me? nothing much i guess. but, alas, time will tell its tale.
so anyways, today is valentine's day so i had guessed that i should just post an 'emo' post or something cuz after... yea. you should know. well, i kinda wrote a song for Vday. its very simple plan-ish. and it only has one verse. so yea. here goes...

On this Valentine's Day,
I wish you had stayed.
I wish you hadn't led me astray.
On this Valentine's Day,
I only feel regret.
All the pain of each sunset.

But its no use.
Its no use~

This time i wont regret.
This time i will forget.
This time i won't miss you anymore~
This time that you are gone,
This time I will move on.
I won't miss you anymore~

We'd thought it would last
But thats now in the past
This relationship has gone so fast
Forever,
I'd never
Miss you again~...

This time i wont regret.
This time i will forget.
This time i won't miss you anymore~
This time that you are gone,
This time I will move on.
I won't miss you anymore~

No more,
No more,
No more~
No more,
No more,
No more~.....

lonely valentine #16

Accidentally in Love

2009-02-09T21:36:00.002+08:00

by the son of ZHU HOU REN ->
and the son of BernardYeo

Nostalgia

2009-02-09T21:14:00.002+08:00

woah. i hate it. i hate it so bad. i hate nostalgia. i know its the name of my blog and all, but i really hate it! i really do... and to you guys who don't know what it means, it means "a sentimental yearning for the past". well, i guess almost everybody has had this feeling before. its so bittersweet, so beautiful yet painful. yea... it hurts. it really really does... every thought that comes to my mind almost immediately fills up my brain with feelings i know very well, thoughts of you. i know i don't want to care about all this anymore, but its really very difficult. it really is... it really was just so beautiful. like a fairy tale which jumped out of its book. like a drama series which comes into reality. no words can really describe how it felt and was back in the past. the happiest memories of my entire life have turned into excruciating agony for this fragile heart. my mind suddenly turns back time just to remember the wonderful moments in my life, and suddenly the beautiful scene turns into pitch black wall of darkness and distress for me. rare joyous unforgettable times have become decriments to me. i feel the misery swirling all over inside me. filling me up with this nostalgia. all over, i cant feel contentment in life anymore. i just wish this nostalgia would all be of the amazing moments in the past, and that it would stay that way forever. would someone just end this misery? help me...

I Wont wait anymore

2009-02-08T20:41:00.003+08:00

guess you guys were right all along. from the very start. i just didnt heed your warnings. from the very start, you guys were already warning me about THE relationship. well, you guys were hella right. bastards. why must you guys be right?? i so freaking wanted to prove all you guys wrong. i really thought we would. i really though we could. but... just look. its pathetic. utterly worse than i ever thought it'd become. you keep saying you still love me. BULLSHIT. what a bunch of crapped out lies. nonsense. i should never have believed you. stupid little me. always being so naive. so freaking immature. dammit. why must i be such an idiot? why?? should really have listened to you guys. i really should have. what a dumbass. what a freaking moronic dumbass. hate my life. hate myself. i have a bloody low self esteem. shit.
this time's different my dear. this time, i wont be regretting. i wont be missing you. no more. the old pathetic me will not wait for you anymore. there really isn't any point in doing so anymore. you just dont get it do you. you could just take all this for granted. you think im some kind of playtoy you can get entertained by for awhile, then when you get bored of it, you throw it aside like trash. treating me like trash. you think it'll help? no. freaking no! dammit. what you're gonna love me forever as long as i love you. what a bunch of horse shit. see what happened?? i really dont think you kept that promise. empty promises. this damned relationship was full of it eh? bloody hell. but, i really dont want to care anymore. i really really dont want to anymore. even though its really gonna be difficult to let you go. but no. i will not care anymore. i WILL NOT. for forever, this IS goodbye. no more trying to be nice to you so you'd take me back. no more. cuz as hard as i try, SOMEONE dosen't really want to talk to me eh? EH?? so yea. goodbye. goodbye forever. im sorry i ever wasted my time and sooooo much money and that insane amount of love on you. that is my regret. you are not. no more regretting that it ended. no more. so, we'll probably never ever talk again. but i really dont want to care about that. i really dont. and this time, i WON'T. so yea. for the last time, goodbye.

cuz i just cant take it.
another day without you with me, is like a blade that cuts right through me.
but i won't wait. i won't wait anymore.
when you call, my heart stops beating.
when you're gone, it won't stop bleeding.
but i won't wait. i won't wait anymore...

Animal Farm

2009-02-06T20:56:00.000+08:00

My Future and some really dope shit

2009-02-05T23:15:00.008+08:00

i've been thinking about my future. so after secondary4, whats next? am i really going to poly? i dont know. maybe cuz i dont have a magical ball to see the future. but the thing is, im starting to think about the arts schools like NAFA and Lasalle. woah. they are the shit. but its really going to be difficult to get in either one. but anyways, the 2 things im thinking about for this entry: bass and bboy. its gonna be real difficult to get in either one. mainly cuz i dont have a background for either one. so anyways, i really need some opinions and stuff. i need to make a choice. soon. so yea. whoever who comes here, please comment. i really need some opinions. like if you think i really wouldnt be able to make it, just say i suck at blah-blah, and some constructive crticism for me. i really cant screw things up at this point. thanks dudes and dudettes all over.

okay next, is a few really sick/dope/ill shit. if you dont what art is, this is it:

and you thought the 'Mona Lisa' was nice. how insane is this?? its crazy. well, its my friend's one. so credit to her. lets hear a 'woot woot'. okay. want to see more of her drawings? go to http://www.thefreddiebirdshop.blogspot.com/. dopeshit. oh another one is http://www.blublu.org/. no pictures from that dude on my blog (i think its copyrighted). well, this is ill. unbelievable crazy. its something you'd go goo-goo-gaa-gaa for. so yea.

oh and to the people who screwed my lovely table and my personalised chair, lets all give you 3 cheers for your childishness. im pretty sure we all know how you guys really are. oh wells, no use giving shit about you 'L's. more importantly, let us take time to remember the table for what it was,how it was and its beauty, and not for how immaturity is highlighted in its death. so heres a memorial for it:

and one last thing, that coconut really needs a shave. and a lollipop.

rest well my dear. the day approaches. ever so invitingly. hope things turn out better than ever this time. i love you... always.

More than meets the Eye

2009-02-05T21:31:00.000+08:00

A Metaphor

2009-02-04T22:46:00.002+08:00

time's up for this camel's back.
no more.
i cant continue,
i cant go on.
i cant tolerate this anymore.

the last straw has been placed.
its broken.
this is it,
this is over.
this is the time i took a stand.

maybe im just weak.
maybe this load really aint heavy.
maybe im wrong,
maybe i can go on.

no!
my mind is made.
i will not flee,
i will resolve it.
resolve all these straws.
now.

time's up for me... time for me to go. time for me to leave this world.
no more. no more of this. please... i dont want to bear with all this shit life is throwing at me anymore. please...
I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE.

Im loving it

2009-02-04T22:21:00.002+08:00

isnt that great? eh? now my hand cant stop trembling. thanks a hell lot. happy now? happy that you can force us into doing stuff utterly unnesscary? wonderful. just wonderful. we all cant be any more grateful for you giving a pile shitass shit to memorise for no particular use. memorise bull we'll possible never ever use in our lives. i really think its a great idea you know. i really think so. its awesome aint it? awesome to force us into working our asses off for nothing. marvellous. it really is marvellous eh? best feeling in the world!
dammit! dammit man! i really dont get it you know. what do want from me? how much do you expect me to come up with?? you think im such a knowledge-absorber eh.. i just need a split second and i have a whole damned encyclopedia in my head. eh? thats what you want aint it?? you think i can give you that? well, yea!! yea if you could somehow dig out this brain and stuff a bloody encyclopedia in it! bloody fool. if thats all i can give, thats all you should expect. i wont do more if cant do anymore. everybody's potential has freaking limit. learn that! dammit. you want a shit long essay. you want gayshit china handwriting. you want us to be able to tolerate it all. how much more?? i suggest you just rip out our muscles and brains and fingers, and just replace all those. then maybe you'll get what you want. eh?
you so freaking dont know how much i have to go thru bcuz of this shit. you really dont. well, cuz its not like you care. good results and a good report. thats all you want. well, you're not gonna get either this year, arse. hurray for you.
stress. freaking bitch. i really cant take much more. this is just one bloody subject. what if there comes more? well, one answer: DIE. well, yea. thats possibly the best idea i'll ever have. i really should just die. then all this crap will end. no more stress. no more bullcrap. no more intolerable shit. then, i'll be happy...
so, just kill me. shoot me. burn me. stab me. incinerate me. crush me. poison me. hadugen me. i dont care how. just end this shit. now. please... i need it.

Cauliflower Superpower: Protector of the Crowned Veges

2009-02-03T20:49:00.002+08:00

heres proof that i aint emoing no more...

For the Better

2009-02-03T19:08:00.003+08:00

woah. how things can take a huge turn around with just a few words. well, things have changed now. changed a lot. i just cant believe how all this happened so quickly. one moment, i thought i'd never speak to you again. the next moment and everything's almost back to normal. almost... well, really thank all those people who cared (Abigail, Vivien, Lixuan and Lihui especially). thanks you guys... but of course, most importantly, i thank God. yeps.
so, now since im no more Mr. Suddenly-emo-and-it-scares-everbody, im back to normal. i guess... so anyways, since this blog was actually put up cuz i really had to speak out everything in my mind, now, there isnt much emo stuff to put up. (well, maybe occasionally, i'll put emo stuff up.) so, this blog moreorless is my portfolio. will try to put up nicer stuff, i havent really been getting the creative juices i need (and most of my past 'work' are on my table and stuff. and i dont want to put up pictures i've taken with my fone.)
so anyways, now that my blog has taken a turn in the way its gonna be, i guess i want you guys to comment more on my pictures and stuff. like say which ones are better. how i can improve. and other related feedback. so yea... support support. thanks.

Music connects

2009-02-03T19:02:00.001+08:00

Your Guardian Angel

2009-02-02T19:18:00.003+08:00

When I see your smile,
Tears roll down my face I can't replace.
And now that I'm strong, I have figured out,
How this world turns cold and it breaks through my soul.
And I know I'll find deep inside me,
I can be the one.

I will never let you fall.
I'll stand up with you forever.
I'll be there for you through it all.
Even if saving you sends me to heaven.

It's okay,
It's okay,
It's okay...

Seasons are changing,
And waves are crashing,
And stars are falling all for us.
Days grow longer and nights grow shorter,
I can show you I'll be the one.

I will never let you fall.
I'll stand up with you forever.
I'll be there for you through it all.
Even if saving you sends me to heaven.

'Cause you're my, you're my, my...
My true love, my whole heart.
Please don't throw that away.
'Cause I'm here... for you!
Please don't walk away and,
Please tell me you'll stay!

Use me as you will!
Pull my strings just for a thrill!
And I know I'll be okay,
Though my skies are turning grey!

I will never let you fall!
I'll stand up with you forever!
I'll be there for you through it all,
Even if saving you sends me to heaven!

I will never let you fall...
I'll stand up with you forever...

I will always be here for you dear. Always for forever, til the end of time. I'll be your shoulder to cry on, your pillow to rest on. Forever. I'll be your Guardian Angel.

Realising ever too late

2009-02-02T17:56:00.002+08:00

i dont know what i've been feeling, but my heart's been telling me something throughout this whole incident. so, i've now realised stuff. realised i've been finding and finding and finding distractions to get my mind off you, consciously and not. why? why am i doing this to myself? well, i came to an answer. an answer which i rather not accept. but there isnt much of a choice. so, this is what i know. i know i really truly still love you. i havent once stopped loving you, but now i really know how much it has been the whole time. its a feeling i've never felt for anyone before. never. so, i know. i know you're more than just another girl to me. you're special. you're different in a wonderful way i could never explain through mere words. but, unfortunately, this feelings, they hurt. this feelings make me feel empty. empty all over inside. this hole which was once there but you'd filled up, is now back and bigger than ever. nothing. abosolutely nothing could possibly fill it up. so, i've realised how much you've meant to me. though, i've realised this before, this time, its too much for me to bear. i cant take all this much more. the pain is horrendous. its difficult... its difficult to understand what is going on. now i know i love you ever so much, but... i dont know. i dont know if im the right guy for you. as much as i love you, i dont know whether i'll be able to be the great guy i should be for you. i really dont know. i love you so much. but, alas, it just dosent seem like we were meant to be. i dont know... but i really hope what im saying is untrue. i miss you...

Freakshow in my mind

2009-02-02T17:24:00.000+08:00

Resolutions for the Remainder

2009-02-02T00:23:00.000+08:00

i have decided. i have decided how im going to live out this life of mine. sure, it isnt the best one. but i've got to do something about it. i know who im gonna be from now on.
nice. a nice person. stereotypical? nope. even though its really hasnt been paying off for me when im nice, i've decided to be a nice guy from now on. no more ben the asshole/bastard. i dont want to be the guy who always seems to be so mean to you guys and gals. cuz you people in school really havent seen the good, nice side of me yet. so yea... simply put, im gonna ask before taking something.
emotions. they suck. really really suck. so, im not gonna ever give in to them again. no way. no more letting my emotions get the better of me. cuz you were right shijuen. i am too emotional, and thats not doing any good. it really aint. so yea... emotions, you can get lost. im not gonna feel anymore. no matter how hard things get, i'll tolerate. endure. not giving in anymore. no more jumping to conclusions. then, maybe things around me will get along better and life wont be such a torture.
so, hello mr nice guy. bye bye stupid assholic bastard.

Potted Dillusion

2009-02-01T23:31:00.001+08:00

Impossible for Ignorance

2009-02-01T22:51:00.000+08:00

well, dear. im so confused now. i dont know whats going on anymore. are you still there? are you still loving me? i really hope so you know. i miss you. i miss you a hell lot. honestly, i havent done a thing without thinking about you. seriously. that may sound very whatever-ish, but well, its true. no matter how hard i try, i miss you too much to really let you out of this heart. i dont get it... why do i love you so? im so confused you know. i really want to talk to you dear, but you dont seem to want to even though... well, i dont know. but i just really want to do this right. though as much as i dont want this to end, i know its probably for the better and thats what we should be mature enough to accept. but even so, can we at least please end it right. its just left out there stuck with all the pain and denial. left there hanging and stuck there at the back of this idiotic mind of mine. i cant have it there... i really cant. its taking everything away from me. i cant feel much about anything. no emotion. but even so, i still miss you ever so much. why? why? why? i hate this you know. i try but i fail... i fail. i seem to fail in all my relationships with everyone. why? am i fated to have this shit in my life? am i?? i dont know. but all i know is that i really really still love you... i cant believe i still love you so damn much. but... i just do. and theres really nothing i can do about it. well, hope things turn out better over this week. hope... but love is still the greatest.

What happens during Recess

2009-02-01T22:39:00.000+08:00

Farewell my dear

2009-02-01T22:38:00.000+08:00

FOR: YOU
i really cant take anymore of this. i know its difficult for both of us. you think i want it to come to this? no. but i really had expected it to end this way. althought not so fast. haiz.. oh wells.. what can one do when things have become like this. i mean i really didnt expect it to end so early. everybody had said we wouldnt last, no way. but i really had thought it turn out better than this. but theres really nothing i can do anymore. as much as i still love you, i doubt you still have the same feelings you once had. i miss you. i miss the old you even more. you changed my dear. you changed quite a bit. somehow i could not keep up with that. and, alas, see what it has made us into. i blame myself. me, myself and i. so stupid to drag you into my life and ruining yours. the world probably should lose this dumbass so there wouldnt be so many dumbasses in the world. well, at least with the number one dumbass gone, things would be easier for everybody. i was such a waste of time. im sorry. if i could do anything about this, i would. but, i cant. i cant turn back time to right all my wrongs. all my wrongs i've been doing from the very start. and if i could, i would erase all memories of me in you. then, you wouldnt feel anymore pain. and you can continue with your wonderful life, while i go through shit after shit. cause there's really no use regretting. all i have left is a little bit of hope. hope that you'd forgive me and accept this dumbass in me. but i really doubt that happening. i really dont want you to waste your time on me anymore. i dont want to hurt you anymore. so just leave. please... find another guy worthy for you. cause i really wasnt the right one for you. though i still love you, i know this is the right way we should go. so we wont have to suffer no more. and more importantly, you'd have a happy life. a great life without me. well then, i really wished this hadnt ended so early. cause i've already planned for 2 dates which were suppose to be really important and unforgettable. but it seems that i just made those to dates into painful memories of regrets. well, theres nothing more i can do. nothing more. maybe they were right. maybe i really am too emotional. maybe i really think too much. maybe we really werent meant to be. i dont know. i really dont. but now, theres no use thinking about this. its over. it probably never be the same again. never... i hate that word, cause this probably means its goodbye, goodbye forever. i'll miss you dear. i'll miss you more than i've ever felt anything for anyone. so, if you read this, hope you'd just find someone new. someone who'd love you more than i ever did. someone who'd take care of you like i never did. someone who'd make sure you have happiness forever. someone who wouldnt ever hurt you. so, i really got nothing more to say. loving you like i always did and always will. goodbye my little darling. goodbye for forever.
FROM: ME

Introduction

2009-02-01T21:48:00.000+08:00

this blog is just for me to say what i feel. so, no tagboard or all those shit here. want to say anything, the comments thingy is there for you. so, peace. and heres a Thanks to Abigail. really. even though you're probably never going to read this, but oh wells... thanks. and im out.